


2019 Conférence de l’Alliance de Médecins Internationale

by Thebiwife



Series: 10 years on... [1]
Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Coming Out, Conference, F/F, F/M, Family, Femslash February 2021, Friends With Benefits, Future Fic, Implied/Referenced Cheating, International Fanworks Day 2021, Kisangani Reunion of Sorts, LGBTQ Themes, Masturbation, Old Friends, Post-Canon, Recreational Drug Use, Sex Toys, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:07:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 27,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27043216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebiwife/pseuds/Thebiwife
Summary: Ten years after the series ends we meet some regular characters at a Conference for the international humanitarian medical non-governmental organisation that John and Luka have previously volunteered for.
Relationships: Elizabeth Corday/Abby Lockhart, Ella Greene/Original Character, John Carter/Rachel Greene
Series: 10 years on... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2116875
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15
Collections: Femslash February





	1. Sunday Afternoon

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Leisure](https://archiveofourown.org/works/137506) by [zulu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zulu/pseuds/zulu). 



> In an AU where what happened in 'Leisure' is canon - don’t feel like you have to read it first but if you’re a fan of sapphic Lizzie you’re in for a treat
> 
> Also - apparently this needs to be said - Luka and Abby don’t have a perfect marriage as he’s been working away from her for 6-9 months at a time repeatedly over the last decade or so - which of course would take its toll on any marriage.

Not being connected to the rest of Europe or the world without a stopover in central or Western Europe had become the norm for the Kovać-Lockhart family as flights from Croatia weren’t as abundant as they had been from Chicago and Boston. On this trip, the stopover in Vienna had been much appreciated by all three of them, but especially thirteen-year-old Joe, who hadn't been allowed anything remotely resembling American food the entire summer they'd been staying with Luka's family. As a result gravitated towards the yellow-arched fast food chain the second he'd spotted it across the terminal.

Abby couldn't help but smile, handing a 20€ bill to her teenage son, happily reminding herself that there was still a significant Yankee streak in her son's character; whether she would ultimately grow to love or loathe it she was unsure.. "Does your brother realise we don't exactly eat McDonald's every day when we're in Kinshasa," Abby frowned, leaning her head on her husband's shoulder.

"How do I know what you do when I'm in Kisangani or Butembo," Luka shrugged.

Abby rolled her eyes, somewhat feeling her husband had missed her point; their new hometown was probably as _far from America_ as they could get, although Joe was still attending International school and had developed a hybrid somewhere between British-Boarding-School-boy and sounding as Boston as his adopted hometown. Somewhat reluctantly, Abby went to join their son in the line for burgers and fries; afterall, anything was better than plane food, or so she told herself. In reality, a taste of home was what she really missed, not having been to the states since Christmas the previous year. At least the milkshake would do its best to stop her envying all of the Europeans getting gin tonics and vodka in their tomato juices on the final flight.

Malta was a few degrees hotter than it had been when they'd stepped onto planes leaving both Croatia and Austria, despite the warm summer they'd been having in central-eastern Europe. Looking up at her husband putting his sunglasses on the moment they exited the plane, Abby remembered the tall, dark and handsome European doctor she'd fallen for, over fifteen years ago, exactly as he had been.

"I thought the driver who takes you to school in Kinshasa was bad," Abby whispered to her son in the back of the cab taking them to their hotel; she would have to get used to being in an English-speaking country again, her snide comments to her son and husband often going unnoticed in both their adopted home and husband's homeland. "Why did the conference have to be on the other side of the island to the airport?" Abby moaned, starting to regret filling up on junk food a few hours ago.

"We're not far now," Luka remarked. "Look at that sea," he grinned, turned to look at his wife and son in the back of the car. 

He was right, that sea was impressive; bluer than the Adriatic where they spent the rest of their summers. "This _is_ my first time in the Med, you know," she reminded Luka.

"You didn't want to come when the conference was in Barcelona last year."

"I didn't want to come to the _conference_ , but it would've been nice to come to _Barcelona_."

Thankfully, their near seven-hour door-to-door journey had meant they arrived at the hotel able to check in right away, and only an hour or so before they started serving dinner. The Austrian take on a McChicken Sandwich had done its best to satiate her appetite, but Abby already felt her stomach beginning to rumble again as she detected the quite frankly _amazing_ smelling food coming from across the lobby.

“My my, if my eyes aren’t deceiving me…” a familiar well-spoken English accent said behind them as they queued at the desk. 

Joe tapped on his mother’s shoulder prompting her to snap out of her daydream and turn to face the voice’s owner, as Joe's father continued forward to check them in.

“Dr. Corday!?” the look of shock on Abby's face was more than Elizabeth had expected.

“Please, you surely know by now you can call me by my first name, Dr. Lockhart,” Elizabeth laughed, pulling Abby in for a hug. “Fancy seeing you here. You look stunning, I love that hair colour.”

Abby blushed at the compliment. She did find that the dark hair went better with her skin tone, now that they were spending at least ten months a year in the sun, be it here in Malta, Croatia or the DRC. 

“Well Luka is still heavily involved in the _Alliance_ , he's giving the Keynote this year. And well, I...do my bit. How come you’re here? You look great.”

Elizabeth did look great; she was in a summer dress, wide-brimmed straw hat and sandals, a few days glow of the Maltese summer having topped up her natural bronze. It must have been five years or so since they'd last seen each other- although they had spoken plenty over email - yet she didn't look a day older than the last time they'd all met up in Louisiana. “Well, Rachel and Carter are in touch regularly and she did her first summer with the _Alliance_ last year in Darfur. So she was desperate to come to the conference so she dragged me along so could make a bit of a holiday out of it. Ella is here too, they arrived here yesterday as they flew together from Chicago. I came on Wednesday, if only to get a base tan before I'm forced indoors for seminars for the next academic year,” she chuckled.

"Ella’s here?" Joe asked, his face lighting up as he did. Abby reintroduced Joe to Elizabeth; they had met briefly over the years, perhaps at Neela and Ray's wedding in Baton Rouge or Anspaugh's funeral back in Chicago.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. “Indeed she is. She and Rachel both fly back to London next weekend for a sisters' trip, but I'm here until the following week to make the most of the sun.“ 

“Wait, so you’re not still at Duke?”

“No, back in the UK now. Ella’s about to start University and had her heart set on Cambridge, so we made the move back over a couple of years ago.”

“Is she going to study Medicine?”

“Sadly, no. Although I do think Mark would’ve loved that she discovered her own path. Archaeology, would you believe it.”

“Dr. and Mrs Kovač, here are your wristbands," the receptionist said, Luka putting Abby's wrist on the desk for her. "...all-inclusive for non-premium beers, wines and spirits, as well as three meals a day and the snack bar. And for Josip, the Soda package, with the same meal privileges.”

Abby pushed past her husband to address the receptionist. “Um, it’s _Dr_. _Lockhart_ ," Abby said, pulling her wrist away, "and I’d also like the Soda Package please.”

“For full conference attendees the all-inclusive comes as standard for the first two adults per party.”

“No thank-you.”

“It costs you no extra.”

“Soda. Package.”

Elizabeth chuckled slightly, as she moved to the desk beside them and exchanged her towels.

"What?" Abby asked?

"It feels like 2004 again," the British Doctor smiled. "Luka, hello!"

"Wow, Doctor Corday, how are you?" Luka asked, finally pulling himself away from the desk with all of their paperwork, conference badges and the like in a well-organised folder. Abby looked at him as though she didn't recognise him.

"I know, I know, you couldn't page me down four floors for a surgical consult yet here I am when you don't want me, on a tiny island nation in the Mediterranean."

"It's really great to see you," Luka said, the most genuine Abby had heard him sound all day. Apart from maybe when his face had lit up at the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REALLY need to stop starting new fics before I finish others but this one came to me last night and I just could NOT resist. I hope you all enjoy.


	2. Sunday Evening

“So you have a room to yourself?” Abby asked Elizabeth as they took their drinks out to the edge of the deck, Elizabeth pointing out where she and the girls were staying at the other side of the pool from the balcony where they waited for the others to join them, Abby's stomach rumbling.

“Yes, the girls offered to share, which made sense as I am paying, well, for the rooms I am. Although honestly I didn’t mind either way as long as Ella wasn’t left alone...the last thing I want is to hear her taking waiters back to her room.”

“Yep, she’s gonna break some hearts this year,” Abby smiled, “My son’s included by the looks of things.”

They both laughed as they spotted Joe sitting over from Ella and Rachel who were playing a card game on the deck, his eyes not giving her a break.

Elizabeth smiled then shivered as the coastal breeze swept over them. "It's a bit nippy," she laughed, the Brit-ism provoking a giggle from Abby.

“I’m sure we'll find a hot single doctor who can help keep you warm,” Abby joked, raising her eyebrows suggestively. “I’ll happily play wing-woman now I know you have a bed all to yourself.”

 _Chance would be a fine thing,_ Elizabeth thought to herself, turning and looking down her nose at Abby rummaging in her bag, before locating her pack of cigarettes.

“What?" Abby asked, cigarette stuck to her bottom lip.

“Did you not give up smoking fifteen years ago?”

“Yup,” Abby smiled, brushing her hair out of her face before lighting up and taking a drag. “But I’m on vacation, Joe knows I only smoke on vacation.”

“Do your month-long trips to Croatia count as _vacations_?”

“Depends what mood I’m in.”

Elizabeth laughed again, only now realising how much she missed the refreshing frankness of her old friends from Chicago, Abby more than most. "So, you work full-time in the Congo now?"

"The DRC, yeah. Joe and I are based in Kinshasa, Luka comes and goes between the work he's doing in Kisangani and further out East."

"How's the French coming along."

" _Pas mal_ ," Abby said in an overexaggerated accent. "I'm back working in OB now, and most of the nurses are bilingual, which helps if I need it. Often I don’t, we tend to get most of the non-local population in there, embassy staff, NGO workers...not exactly an authentic experience of Africa.”

"You don't miss working the traumas?"

"Oh of course I do. I miss everything about county, heck, everything about the American Healthcare system, God forbid. I spend enough of my free time watching _Grey's Anatomy_ and begging Luka to move to Seattle."

"Speaking of _Seattle_ , do you speak to Doug and Carol at all?"

Abby shook her head.

"Do you think you will go back to the states?"

"We'll have to eventually, I can't see us growing old in subsaharan Africa. Although I can imagine Luka might want to grow old in Croatia."

"You know, Croatia has no extradition treaty with the US, always good to have a back up."

"How do you know that?"

"I may have looked into it right after Kerry reminded me that I had broken state _and_ federal law."

“Elizabeth! Abby! What is this like a reunion!?” a familiar voice, from a much less familiar face, exclaimed in their direction. Abby wasn't sure if it was because it was getting dark or...

"Carter!?" 

“Apparently so…” Abby laughed. Wow, he had _aged_.

“Rachel said you were out here,” he smiled, waving the girls over to join them, Joe following behind them like a puppy.

“Are we expecting anyone else?”

“Well Luka is here of course, probably at the bar.”

“Are we all eating together? We should let them know we’ll need a table for 8,” Elizabeth Corday, always the pragmatist.

“Seven,” Carter said, once he’d done the Math, counting the younger members of their party.

“Kem isn’t joining us?”

“Kem isn’t here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abby doing a bad French accent just making me think of Rachel Green on F.R.I.E.N.D.S - "Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there."


	3. Sunday Night

“I know the Maltese people mean well, but their hospitality knows no bounds. Three times now I’ve had staff try to exchange my wristband, we’ve been here five hours, no less. I should’ve brought a wristband from AA to show them instead...”

“You could’ve given it to me,” Joe joked, as he walked with his mother, while not shifting his gaze from Ella who walked ahead of him to their table.

“You have one Mimosa at Christmas and were sick almost instantly.”

“That bottle was older than Dad, it must have been off.”

Elizabeth and Abby exchanged a knowing look across the table, trying not to laugh at the expense of the youngest member of their party, who swiftly picked up his plate and followed Elizabeth’s girls to the buffet line.

Abby also hadn’t appreciated the insistence of the wait staff to get wine for the table, although at least with Carter present she hadn’t been the only adult not drinking. The two of them shared a bottle of sparkling water, which Elizabeth kept using to top up her Rosé.

“Dr. Lockhart,” Ella said as she rejoined the table with a full plate

“Please, Ella, call me Abby, it’s gonna be a long week otherwise.”

“Right, Abby, sorry. Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did…”

“Right. I just wondered, why don’t you drink wine?”

“I don’t drink any alcohol Ella, I’m an alcoholic.”

“Oh, right. But you don’t mind that we drink around you?” she nodded towards her family and Luka, all a glass of wine in hand.

“No. Well _evidently_ my husband drinks, and it would be hard for him not to, being... _European_ and all.”

“We are bad for that…” Elizabeth chipped in.

“Right,” Ella nodded.

“Your Mom doesn’t mind you drinking?” Abby asked Ella.

“She's eighteen,” Elizabeth replied.

“Oh, yeah. I forget it’s only the states where twenty-one is the norm.”

“Egypt too,” Ella added. 

“How would you know that?” Rachel laughed.

“I've heard stories about the Egyptology trip from Cambridge. I promise I won't get arrested when _I_ go.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“Well, my advice to you Miss Greene, would be to not let drinking control your fun. Make sure you enjoy yourself _without_ a drink as much as you do when you _have_ had one.”

“And on that note, there’s Karaoke downstairs tonight,” Rachel grinned.

“Oh gosh no,” Luka put his head in his hand.

“What!?” Rachel laughed.

“We...don’t sing,” Luka added.

“Speak for yourself!” Abby glared at him. “Come on, we’re here for a _vacation_ as much as we are for the conference.”

“There’s a seminar I wanted to attend first thing tomorrow...” Luke already beginning his long line of excuses.

“Surely you can stick around for a song or two before bed.”

“I’ll probably call it an early night tonight myself,” Elizabeth muttered.

“Aw come on Mom, it’s the first night we’re all here,” Ella said, pulling her arm as they left the table.

“I’m sure you can more than hold a tune, Dr. Corday,” Carter joked. 

“Well...in truth, I haven’t done Karaoke since…the first time your father and I introduced our parents,” she said to the two girls to her right.

“I didn’t realise you’d known him that long?” Rachel frowned. “I remember we spent that thanksgiving together, you, Grandpa and I. That was when I…” Rachel’s face went white.

“When what?” Ella asked.

Elizabeth whispered into Ella’s ear, linking her arm with her daughter's as Ella’s face fell before she covered her mouth to hide her laugh. “It was first time we met, actually,” Elizabeth added. "Rather eventful."

“But Grandpa and Isabel?” Rachel swiftly changed the subject.

“Well, I suppose you were too young at the time for your father to tell you this, but yes, your grandfather and my mother were...rather well acquainted.”

“No!?” Rachel exclaimed.

“What?” Ella asked, lost in the discussion.

“Right up until he passed,” Elizabeth nodded, trying hard not to laugh.

“What does this have to do with Karaoke?” Joe asked, rather lost.

“Right, well, I just don’t know if I want to...sing again. Seeing as the last time with Mark was so memorable.”

“What did you sing?” Carter asked.

“The Piano Man…” Elizabeth’s face flushed.

“Ah, Billy Joel…” Luka smiled.

“See, your Dad’s coming around to the idea now,” Abby pointed out to Joe.

“Wait, wasn’t that the night that…?” John began.

Elizabeth put her hand on John's back and made eye contact with him, merely nodding.

“What happened that night?” Rachel asked Elizabeth, pulling extra chairs to the table as Joe and his Mom were the first of the room to volunteer to sing and John disappeared to the bar, and the first of the group to get over the potential embarrassment of singing in front of the others, singing _I want you back_ by the Jackson Five, which Joe’s pre-pubescent voice lent itself to rather well. 

“There was a psych patient who...attacked John and another doctor, or maybe she was a med student? Ultimately, she died, which evidently had an impact on John.”

“Is that when his addiction started?”

“Sometime around then…pain meds and PTSD aren't exactly a great mix,” Elizabeth whispered as Carter pulled up a chair next to Rachel.

* * *

“Wow, you were great,” Ella laughed walking up to the DJ booth and pulling Joe in for a hug as he emerged from the stage, causing the younger Kovač to blush as bright as the red spotlights. 

“Is he your brother?” the young tanned girl running the karaoke asked Ella. 

“No, just family friends.”

The girl nodded. “Are you going to sing?”

Ella shrugged. “Maybe. I haven’t decided on a song.”

Luka kissed his wife as she returned to sit next to him. “Maybe just leave the singing to the kid in future?” he teased, tickling her and she fought back. 

“Um, well maybe I’ve signed you up.”

“You didn’t.”

“Next singer is John, with _Kiss from a Rose.”_ Her Mediterranean accent now evident in how she pronounced the word _rose_.

The whole table erupted in whoops of laughter as Carter stepped up to the stage.

“What are you singing then?” Abby asked the Greene sisters.

“I don’t know, are you going to sing again?” Rachel asked Abby.

“Well _apparently_ I can’t hold a tune so…”

“I was _joking!_ ” Luka insisted, before asking around who wanted a drink as he got the next round in.

“Are you sure you’re not going to sing?” Ella asked her Mom, returning to their table.

“Dad would’ve wanted you to,” Rachel added.

Elizabeth pondered. “Well, maybe if we did something together?”

“It’s raining men?” Rachel suggested, making her half-sister blush as shake her head.

“Far from the truth my love,” Elizabeth laughed, nodding to thank Luka as he passed her a Vodka Martini. Ella and Rachel took their Gin and Tonics, before clapping over enthusiastically at John returning from the stage while Abby finished her non-alcoholic beer.

“I’m gonna take Joe up to the room,” Abby said to Luka, as they spotted their son slouched in his chair almost asleep. “I will be back though. I have to hear my husband sing.”

Ella must have either made an executive decision for the three of them, as she soon sprung up to sign them up for a song, then sticking around by the DJ for a while and chatting to the other hosts for the night. Alongside the petite Spanish girl she’d already met, there was a blonde, butch Hungarian girl, and the overbearing Romanian guy who seemed far too old for this line of work.

“You’d best keep your eye on her,” Elizabeth whispered to Rachel, who laughed. 

“She’s an adult now, Elizabeth.”

“Please, don’t remind me.”

The next couple of singers from other groups were a giggly group of girls murdering _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_ and a few lone men singing questionable covers of Spandau Ballet and Chris de Burgh.

As Abby returned to their table they announced for Luka to head to the stage, the opening bars of _Uptown Girl_ beginning to play, much to Abby’s delight and Luka’s pretence at displeasure.

Ella, Rachel and Elizabeth were next up, with _It Must Have Been Love_ , which had Ella carrying the other two.

“Turns out you _can_ hold a tune,” Carter said to Luka. “I’m pretty certain Abby can too.”

“Apparently not if you ask my husband,” Abby side-eyed Luka. “We best not be too late anyway, don’t want to leave Joe alone for too long.”

Luka nodded.

Carter passed a pre-filled request slip with Abby’s name on the bottom across the table, raising his eyebrows at her, as if to say _go on_. She shrugged and took it over to the DJ booth, stopping to grab one more 0% beer on her way back. 

“How are you guys doing?” Carter asked Luka. “Married life treating you well?”

“Same as always,” Luka nodded.

“The time apart not killing you?”

“It has its moments. They’re settled now though, Joe at his school, Abby in her job.”

“She must miss the frontline.”

“If she does she doesn’t say so. She’s been over to help out a few times, we really do need her OB expertise. One area where upping the amount of drugs we can get hold of doesn’t necessarily make a difference.”

“Never say that in front of a woman who’s given birth,” Carter chuckled, Abby sitting back beside the two of them. 

“How’s Kem?” she asked, as if she’d known that relationships had been the topic of conversation.

“I wouldn’t know…” 

“You’re kidding?”

“We’re no longer together.”

“I’m sorry,” Abby smiled. “I had no idea.”

On that note Carter excused himself and headed off to his room, hugging and kissing Elizabeth and the girls as they came off stage.

Abby looked to Luka who shrugged.

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew, everyone involved in the _Alliance_ knew,” Luka said, dismissively.

“And I’m only a plus one, I get it. You still could’ve told me though, it’s _Carter_.”

“Yes, and need I remind you that you two have history?”

“You’re the only person who cares about that.”

“The next person to sing is...Abby.”

As the piano intro chimed in, Abby stepped towards the stage, breathing in deeply to lift her diaphragm in a way she hadn’t in years.

_“When are you gonna come down_

_When are you going to land…”_

Her beautiful voice haunted the room. 

“Luka, you never told me she could _sing_ …” Elizabeth gasped.

“She never wanted anyone to know.”

_“You know you can't hold me forever_

_I didn't sign up with you_

_I'm not a present for your friends to open...”_

“I’m gonna go to bed,” Luka said. “Tell Abby to have a fun night with the girls, make the most of it.” He nursed the last of his drink at the bar for a few moments before downing it and scarcely made eye contact with his wife as he let himself out of the bar.

“ _Oh, I've finally decided my future lies_

 _Beyond the yellow brick road..._ ”


	4. Monday Morning

While Luka, Rachel and Carter were at the opening Seminar, Ella, Joe and their Moms decided to lounge by the pool. Abby was still finishing her morning coffee and was about to light up a cigarette when she noticed Elizabeth looking over from the bar. _Someone_ was starting drinking early. She tried not to judge, shaking her hair to snap out of the thought.

"Are you and my Mom the same age?” Ella asked her, taking her by surprise.

Abby shuffled her sun lounger a little over away from Ella as she lit up her cigarette leaning into the wind, “Give or take a few years, yeah. Why?”

“Just you’re so much...cooler. Easier to talk to.”

Abby laughed.

“What?”

“No, it’s just that’s funny to hear. When your Mom first came to Chicago everyone thought she was so refreshing and easy to talk to compared to some of the other Docs. Especially the other Surgeons.”

“I guess it’s different when that person becomes a Mom,” Ella said.

"When they're _your_ Mom," Abby nodded, "our own Moms are never cool. You should ask Joe what _he_ thinks of me." Abby noticed Ella still looking at her as she took a deep drag. “Is there something else you wanted to ask me about, Ella?”

“Can I have a cigarette?”

“Ms. Greene, do I need to remind you what killed your father?”

“No…but you do it.”

“I set a bad example. Ask me about school or what colour to dye your hair but do not follow any of my examples when it comes to drinking, smoking, or men.”

“Men? But Luka is wonderful.”

“He is, but you don’t know what I went through with the other guys before I managed to get him.”

“You never dated my Dad did you?” 

Abby burst out laughing.

“Abby, Ella…” John interrupted them, coming over in attire that could only be described as what you would wear to a conference if your wardrobe had been purchased exclusively from a Hawai'ian gift shop.

“Dr. Carter,” Abby smiled. “I was just telling Ella how terrible my taste in men was before I started seeing before Luka. The _second_ time.”

“Ouch,” Carter said, faking a bullet wound to his heart. “She’s right though Ella, the Kovač is where it’s at. Shame Joe is too young for you…”

“Poor Joe doesn’t quite get that,” Abby laughed. "He's smitten. Haven't you noticed?"

Ella gave Abby a look. “Can we go to the ladies room?"

Abby nodded, although she noted that it hadn't really been a question on Ella's part. She put her arm around Ella as they walked, smiling and nodding to Elizabeth reassuringly as she spotted them walking over. "Don't be too hard on your Mom," she said. "She went through a lot over the years I knew her.”

“I know.”

“What’s this about? What can’t you talk to your Mom or Sister about?”

Ella stayed quiet until they were well out of earshot, and once inside grabbed Abby by the hand and pulled her into a toilet cubicle with her, the two of them just squeezing in behind the door.

“I think I might be...a lesbian.”

“Wow, ok," Abby smiled, reassuringly.

"Wow? What does that mean?"

"I think that it's great.”

“Is it though?”

“It’s great you’re starting to work out who you are.”

“But what about my Mom?”

“What about her?”

“She hates gay people.”

Abby laughed harshly.

Ella frowned at her.

“Sorry, but Ella, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Your Mom does _not_ hate gay people.”

“She does.”

“How do you explain that!?”

“Everything that happened with Kerry Weaver.”

Abby took a step back, clambering into the cubicle door locked behind her. “Wait, what do you think happened!?” She decided it was best to leave the cubicle, as anyone could have walked in at any point, so opened it and leant back against the sinks. 

Ella sat down on the closed toilet. "I don't know _details,_ but she never gave a reason why she disliked her, but she really, _definitely_ did. She had such _disdain_ for her. And all of you guys have mentioned her and her girlfriends, or you would ask if she was seeing anyone when we saw her in Louisiana... But my Mom barely spoke to her. Never even addresses that her colleague and _my Dad's boss_ for so many years was a Lesbian. Like she _disapproves_ or something."

"I think you need to speak to your Mom about her relationship with Kerry..." Abby looked at her feet. "But look at it this way, Ella, honey. I've met a _lot_ of young people questioning _sex_ and _identity_ over the years, and a lot of parents of those young people too. I've seen very reaction you can imagine, anger, acceptance, frustration, delight. I don't know what your Mom's reaction will be, but I _can_ guarantee that your Mom loves you, no matter what and your Dad would love you, no matter what. We all love you, no matter what."

Ella nodded and hugged Abby. "How do I know it's the right time to tell her?"

"You don't, and you probably never will. Just...give it time. You'll know when it's right."

"You won't tell her?"

"No, of course not. You're an adult, you can make your own decisions. And let's just say if you had come to me as a patient for a doctor's opinion, I would be sworn to confidentiality."

"Right...well, thank-you, Doctor Lockhart."

"Anytime. Although as I told you, that's the only time you can call me that, I am on vacation afterall," Abby smiled.

"You know, Kerry wasn't the only Lesbian we worked with. Ask your Mom what she thinks about Kim Legaspi, see what she says about what happened to her..."


	5. Monday Afternoon

As there was a session about Maternity Care in subsaharan Africa that afternoon, Abby took her steps towards _actually attending the conference_ , going along with Rachel who, despite having pursued surgery like her step-mom, was keen to learn everything she could from the lecture.

“What did you take away from that?” Rachel asked Abby, who was heading straight upstairs to see her son. They had left Joe playing pool with Ella, much to his delight. 

“Um, well, since I don’t really _work_ in the charity sector, it’s hard to see the practical applications of what they’re doing.”

“Right, you work in a private hospital don’t you?”

Abby nodded. “Somebody’s got to pay the bills.”

“Right. You should come to Darfur when I go next year.”

“Yeah, see, Luka and I already spend enough time apart, that whenever I volunteer it kinda has to be where he already is. Or we’ll go nine months without seeing each other.”

“Wow, that must be tough. On your marriage I mean.”

“We’re good,” Abby forced a smile, wondering what it was about the Greene girls getting into her personal life today. She trudged towards the lounge bar, where Joe was sitting watching some European sport or other that he clearly couldn't care less about. “Joe, baby, we’ve got a couple of hours before dinner if there’s anything you want to do. Weren’t you hanging out with Ella?”

“I was, but then she went to Yoga. Don’t call me baby,” he frowned, sipping on his Diet Coke.

“Ok, sorry hon. Well we can go for a walk? There’s a Fortress just up the hill with some cool views, if you want to check it out.”

“Sure. Is Dad coming?”

“I haven’t seen your Dad…”

“I think he’s there with Doctor Carter,” Rachel interrupted them, pointing to the poolside bar where Luka and John were talking and eating.

“Hey, it’ll be dinner in a couple of hours,” Abby said, interrupting them by giving Luka a side hug and stealing one of his fries. “Joe and I were going to walk up to the Red Tower if you would like to join? It’s starting to get cooler after three.”

“Sure,” Luka said, finishing his last few fries and standing up. “Carter? Rachel?”

“No, we’re good,” Rachel answered on behalf of both of them. “Thanks though!” she added, ever chipper. 

“Great, family time,” Abby said, leaning into Luka for a kiss. "Let's go."

Although the walk was only twenty minutes or so, it was mainly down the side of major roads which didn't quite say _quality family time_ the way she'd hoped. She at least spent some time with her husband, who was acting more distant than she'd ever really _noticed_ before. It was likely he was the same as he always was, a bit aloof but always happy to see her, albeit a little preoccupied with the keynote speech he would be delivering later in the week. 

As soon as they made it inside the tower, an adorable elderly gentleman welcomed them with literature in every language (although not Croatian) about the tower, built in 1649 and used by the Knights of St John in WWII. Luka stuck his tongue out playfully as he swapped out Abby's leaflet for one in French, allowing her to pull out the ever useful _laisse-moi tranquille_ in response.

After climbing the steps to the top, they got some wonderful photos of the view, with the islands of Gozo and Comino in the distance. Luka asked a family who happened to be from Slovenia, leading to a long conversation with them about their homelands, to take the family's picture, which Abby felt was the best picture she'd seen of the three of them together in a long time - perhaps because it was the first time they'd all been together in a while when none of them were feeling overworked, recovering from a stint volunteering or being held hostage by family members - on top of the last six weeks in Croatia, the previous Christmas at Maggie's hadn't really been Abby's ideal break either. 2019 had started to drastically improve for Abby, even if there were only three full months left.

Once Luka broke up his conversation with his Balkan neighbours, they descended back to the museum and had a chat with the old guy again, signing the guestbook and debating over where they should say they were visiting from. In the end, Luka wrote _Hrvatska,_ Joe wrote _Kinshasa_ , and Abby felt the only place she could really say she was _from_ right now, was Chicago. Perhaps it had been having Elizabeth and Carter back that had made her miss the Windy City, or the fact that now Maggie is back in Tampa she can't for the life of her remember the last time she saw snow. The pangs in her heart as she thought about it made her realise that although her life was a world away it was still the one she considered her default, the place she was meant to be, and her home, albeit fifteen years later. 


	6. Monday Evening

“Nobody told us that they have British outlets here,” Abby said, struggling to get her hair to behave in the Maltese humidity without a hair straightener. 

“It is an ex-British colony,” Joe said, in a tone that echoed his father near perfectly.

“Don’t you start,” Abby nearly frowned at her son until she saw his face and just had to wrap her arms around him, wrestle him into the bed and kiss his face in a way she never got a chance to these days. “I know you don’t like me calling you baby anymore, but when it’s just us you don’t ever get away from being my baby.”

“Mom...” Joe began to complain, before realising this was the happiest he’d seen his Mom in a long time.

“If I give you some money can you get an adaptor from the gift shop? And whatever you want with the change. Do you still collect Pez dispensers or is that not what kids do these days?”

“You need to stop calling me a kid, Mom,” Joe whined, “I’m almost done with middle school.”

“Ok, you’re right, I’m sorry. Still, ten euros is enough right?”

* * *

“I thought we’d catch up just the three of us tonight...seeing as I haven’t seen either of you all day,” Elizabeth said, fussing over Ella's hair which was drying into her natural wave. 

“Yeah, I went to Yoga, then Pilates...”

“You do realise you are on Holiday, Ella," Elizabeth interrupted. "It’s all inclusive, all you can eat...you most definitely do not need to be worrying about burning this off.” 

“I’ll be meeting everyone for the first time in less than a month who I'll be studying with for four years, they could be the people who shape the rest of my life...” 

“And they should like you for who you are."

“It’s Cambridge, Rachel.”

Rachel shrugged.

“Ella, you will be fine. And from my experience, if anything, they take you a little more seriously if you’re enjoying a meal and a glass of wine with good company without worrying about when you’re next going to work it off.”

Although Elizabeth was smiling as she said this, Ella felt pressure from her mother to be _normal,_ or at least, be how Elizabeth was at the same age. Ella's grandparents had always described as the perfect all-around girl next door, even if she wasn't the son that grandpa had hoped for. 

“There are other ways to work it off…” Rachel said, winking at her sister.

“Do not encourage her,” Elizabeth said sternly.

“What, you don’t think she’s done it already…”

Ella blushed, despite there being no direct mention of who she was - or wasn’t - sleeping with.

“This is not a conversation I expected to have with you both... And in response, I would say that as long as whatever either of you doing is safe and consensual, I’m happy for you.”

Ella saw this as her chance to change the subject. "Mom, who was Kim Legaspi?"

"Kim? Is she here?"

"No, just she was mentioned in a conversation with the others...did you work with her?"

"Not closely, no, she was a psychiatric attending a couple of years before you were born. Why?"

"I just wondered why I hadn't heard her name before."

"There were plenty of people who came and went over the years," Elizabeth said, taking a sip of her wine.

"Why did she leave?"

"Oh of course, I suppose it was quite an incident. She was, if I remember correctly, in a relationship with Kerry Weaver at one point...but that didn't get her fired per se. I think she came out to a patient, a young girl who tried to kill herself, parking her car in front of a passenger train. The story was that the girl was gay, so Kim was open with her about her own sexuality to demonstrate that, well, sexuality is just one of the many facets of your life, and you can live a successful and happy life regardless of how others perceive you...anyway, Robert didn't take to it too kindly, and fired her. By the time it was all resolved she didn't want to come back."

"Robert as in, Romano?" Rachel asked.

Elizabeth nodded.

"You didn't tell him what a dick move that was?" Rachel said, eating a forkful of rainbow cake. "Oh my God, this cake is amazing..."

"Robert and I were friends."

"Yes, but you shouldn't tolerate homophobia. Don't you think Kim did the right thing?"

"I don't know Rachel, it was a long time ago. Maybe if it were to happen today I would understand it a bit better..."


	7. Monday Night/Tuesday Morning

"I missed you at dinner," Abby said to Luka as he entered the room. Since Joe was either asleep or playing on his Switch (with headphones) up on the top bunk, Abby had given up on trying to talk to him and so instead was getting around to reading her trashy summer novel for the first time since Croatia. 

"Yes, sorry...I was working on my keynote,” Luka replied.

"I figured as much," she sighed, putting a bookmark between the pages. "I've barely seen you at all this trip."

"I know." He put his arms around her and held her softly, Abby trying to lift her face to his to kiss him but his hold on her shoulders impeding her. 

"What's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong."

"I can feel it. What's wrong?"

"Nothing,” Luka sighed and let go of her. “There's a seminar tomorrow about trauma and mental health work being done in northeastern Nigeria, you should go."

"I don't know, it's not like I'm ever going to get to put any of this stuff to use."

"Either way, it's good for your professional development."

"Thankyou, _Dr. Kova_ _č_ ," she laughed, incredulous.

"Why else did you even come here? It's not like I need you on my arm at buffet dinners..."

"Um, to spend time with my _family._ Including my husband who I barely see most of the year _as it is_." She jumped up from the bed, putting her sandals back on and looking for her cardigan and cigarettes. She knew she was in the mood for an argument, terrible a trait in her as that was, yet her husband didn't move an inch from his spot. It was bad enough that he spent most of his working life now taking the moral highground whether he intended to or not, but the way he acted as though she was only with him so she could make him look even better really got to her. "You know what, Luka? Fuck you. Don't wait up."

Initially, as she headed down to the lobby and crossed the lounge, Abby was planning just to chainsmoke out on the deck until she could face going back to the room. As the Mediterranean windchill sent her back inside, she was incredibly close from asking for some whisky in her coffee was there was a pull on her elbow.

"Hello you," Elizabeth smiled. "How are you doing?"

"I've been better."

"Aw, I'm sorry love. Would you like to come with me and the girls to dance?"

"Oh I don't know, I'm already incredibly close to relapsing...you almost caught me making this Irish,” she said, and took a sip of her coffee.

Elizabeth pursed her lips, listening sympathetically. "You deserve to let your hair down. Figuratively," Elizabeth scrunched the tips of Abby's windswept hair. 

“I know.”

"Come on," Elizabeth grabbed her by the hand.

* * *

The following morning, Abby and Elizabeth decided to sack off the seminar about mental health afterall; Abby was still hung up on Luka’s comments on her being merely a _plus one_ for the whole trip, whereas Elizabeth was _very_ hungover from the night before (having stayed up until 2am with the girls and Abby, clearly unable to hold her alcohol as well as her daughter and step-daughter. _The twenty-odd year head start on the eldest will do it_ , she figured.)

They grabbed breakfast at ten, with the staff clearing up around them as they ate, before finding the kids by the pool.

Elizabeth’s room had a patio that looked out to the poolside, so they went to change in her room, saving the trip back through the Foyer and up three floors to get to the larger family rooms. Abby also told herself she could keep an eye on Joe from there more easily, not that she had much to worry about him hanging around with Ella and Rachel. In reality, she was still avoiding Luka, at least as much as she could when she was sharing a room with him and their son.

“Is this what I think it is?” Abby asked as she entered into Elizabeth‘s bedroom. Elizabeth helped her lotion up while she picked up a small orange device from her bedside table. “Perks of having a room to yourself, huh.”

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, her eye making contact with Abby’s in the mirror. “You’re familiar with the _Womanizer_?”

“I’ve heard things,” Abby laughed as she switched on the toy and held it against her palm, turning the power up to the highest setting. “Wow, it’s pretty powerful. Is it true what they say?”

“You mean about the quickest orgasm ever?”

Abby nodded.

“The first time I used it we were talking five seconds, no word of a lie.”

“Wow. Isn’t it quite...intense?”

“I suppose it is. Borrow it if you like, see for yourself. Just let me sanitize it first,” Elizabeth took the toy into her en suite bathroom.

“And try it out when? My thirteen year old son shares a room with us.”

“I suppose that means you and Luka won't be having much opportunity this trip either. All the more reason to treat yourself,” Elizabeth returned and handed it back over.

“I don’t know,” Abby screwed up her face.

“I mean it, have a go here, I can make myself scarce.”

“I don’t know…”

“Why not? You deserve it.”

“Deserve what?”

“A healthy sex life,” Elizabeth laughed. 

“Luka and I have sex…” Abby said, unconvincingly.

“Really!?” Elizabeth said, not Remotely convinced. “How many times in the last year?”

“Well we’ve only been in the same place for half of it.”

“Ergo…” Elizabeth held the toy back towards Abby who held up her hands in protest. “

“I can’t use someone else’s sex toy…”

“Don’t make excuses! You make a living giving pelvic exams.”

“You know yourself, that's hardly the same...”

“Now isn’t the time to be squeamish. There’s nothing wrong with making sure you...see to yourself during the dryer months.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to…come.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this…” Abby blushed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Whenever I’ve used a vibrator or anything, I feel myself moving it away before I reach orgasm, like I get the...build up... but something in me stops me before it gets to that really intense level of...losing it in the pleasure I guess.”

“Does the same thing happen with a partner?”

“Well, no, because it’s not all...concentrated on one spot.

Elizabeth nodded. “Would you like me to do it for you?”

“Elizabeth!?” Abby blushed.

“What!?”

“That very much constitutes...I don’t know, _cheating.”_

 _“_ Masturbating is cheating on your husband?”

“When your friend does it for you...yes.”

“We’re both professionals, we can keep to our boundaries.”

“This is a pretty big line to cross.”

“I’ve crossed some lines…”

Abby glared at her. “Well now you have to divulge.”

Elizabeth sighed but that was very much only a pretense. “When I first arrived in Chicago...I may have had a threesome...” she said, somewhat proudly. “With Carol and Doug.”

“No!?”

Elizabeth nodded, laughing.

“Did Mark know!?”

“Doug obviously told him they’d done it...only once Mark and I were together did I reveal with whom.”

“You really are shameless aren’t you!?”

“Nothing to be ashamed of. Nor is wanting to have at least _one orgasm_ during your week's holiday.”

Abby frowned again. "Ok, what do you know!?"

"I know nothing, Abby, that your face hasn’t told me. I can tell that your man isn't keeping you satisfied."

“Do you...have feelings for me?” Abby asked, her voice rising in alarm.

Elizabeth merely shrugged and titled her head, her flirtatious eyes forcing Abby to scoff and walk away in the other direction. 

“Ok, let me rephrase. Do you have feelings for women in general?”

“I suppose I do, sometimes. The real question is, will having me masturbate _you_ for a matter of _seconds_ make _you_ fall head over heels in love with _me_.”

“No...I just...fine, I’ll do it myself.” Abby snatched the toy back from its owner. “Can you go wait on your patio or something?”

Elizabeth smiled at her candour and nodded. “I love your hair with that, _wave_ to it,” she smiled, grabbing a few things before sliding the patio door shut and leaving Abby alone, laughing to herself at the conversation they just had.

Although Elizabeth hadn’t ever been a smoker, definitely not to the extent that Abby had, she did however enjoy a cigarillo every now and then, and lit one up as she waited on the patio, taking in the taste of the tobacco, the smell of the sea, and the sound of the breeze around her. 

“Am I not the one who’s supposed to be smoking now?” Abby laughed as she joined Elizabeth outside a minute or two later, holding out her hand to take the cigarillo from her.

“I don’t know, did you...make it?”

Abby merely smirked. 

Elizabeth glared at her and began gathering her things to head down to the pool, Abby a few metres behind her.

Abby yelled from behind her. “Record time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the related work 'Leisure' (see initial Notes at the start of the work) to find where I got the Elizabeth/Carol/Doug threesome idea from...if only it were canon
> 
> Also, this is me from the future - I just watched 'Welcome to Mooseport' for the first time and laughed so much at the Irish coffee line, I swear I didn't know that scene existed


	8. Tuesday Afternoon

“Where’s Dad?” Joe asked Abby, as the two of them sat down to lunch out on the patio in the early afternoon.

“He’s having lunch in town with someone from Kisangani,” Abby replied. This was one plan Luka had been keen to remind her about, before their spat the previous night, that was. 

“Who from Kisangani?”

“Angelique?” Abby shrugged, no wiser whether that meant anything more to Joe than it did to her. Luka had never been particularly forthcoming with talk about what went on when he was away months at a time; what he did share was generally more about the patients than his co-volunteers. Come to think of it, she can’t remember the last time he’d called her from the field to talk about anything other than advice on treating a pregnant patient or nursing mother, discussing how Joe was getting on at school, or their plans for this very summer.

Sending Joe to get her lunch as well as his own, Abby sighed and took her sunglasses off her head, rubbing her face. She was exhausted, which was now how you should feel on vacation, surely? Especially when she wasn’t drinking and had been getting eight hours sleep every evening.

Abby gave up on her romance novel, putting it to one side of the table, and was now flicking through a German gossip magazine somebody had left behind. 

Elizabeth tried to make eye contact with her, once her two girls had left their table not too far over. “Have you spoken to him since last night?”

Abby shook her head. 

Elizabeth shuffled her chair and table closer. “I’m sorry if I...complicated things. This morning I mean.”

“No, no, we’re good. You were right, I’m clearly not getting any, it has been a _long_ time since he last showed any interest.”

“How long?”

“Over a year,” Abby sighed.

“You poor woman,” Elizabeth sighed. “You can borrow the _Womanizer_ whenever you like honey,” she laughed softly.

Joe returned with two plates of pasta, Abby kissing his temple as he gave one to her.

“Are the girls done eating?” Abby asked.

Elizabeth nodded towards the corner of the dining room, where Ella was propping herself up by the coffee maker, talking to the small Spanish girl. It turns out the same girl had been hosting many of the daytime activities - yoga, pilates - as well as the regular evening entertainment. She kissed Ella on both cheeks, _the continental way_ , as Elizabeth’s daughter took her coffee and returned to their makeshift table as Rachel returned with cake for she and her stepmom.

“What did _Rosario_ have to say?” Rachel asked, eyes widening.

“Monday is her day off, she was just telling me what she got up to.”

“Explains why we actually saw you yesterday,” Rachel teased. Abby _had_ noticed that Ella had seemed a bit lost the previous night, the regular entertainment team having been replaced by some middle-aged DJ whose choice in music had probably made the youngest of them drink far more than Abby was comfortable seeing from a girl of her age.

“Leave your sister alone, it’s good that she’s making new friends,” Elizabeth said, tapping Rachel’s shoulder. 

“She said she would have invited me to a party at her villa if she’d seen me to invite me.”

“I’m sorry you had to settle for us instead,” Abby smiled. She lowered her voice as Elizabeth and Rachel got up to go get more coffee. “Are you feeling ok?”

“Yeah, why?” Ella blinked, as though she’d missed something.

”You had a lot to drink last night...I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything you needed to talk about. _Rosario_ or otherwise.”

“No, I’m good.”

”Ok, well you know where I am.”

* * *

Abby, relaxing in the pool with Ella and Joe, was as surprised as anyone when Luka brought Angelique to meet them all as they hung out that afternoon.

“Ice cream?” he asked Joe as he climbed out of the pool, as if it earnt him dad points for getting his son something he could easily get for himself, all inclusive and all.

”Would you like anything Abby?” Angelique asked her.

”I’ll join you,” Abby smiled politely, climbing out and searching for her towel.

“It’s so nice to meet you. Luka didn’t let on for a long time that he was married, very much kept himself to himself.”

“That’s Luka,” Abby sighed, “all about the patients.”

After she said it, she couldn’t believe _that_ was her problem with Luka. He’d done so much over the years, helping people who had nothing, working his way up the organization, being offered this keynote to talk about his work at the trauma centre.

But he did all that while they were in Chicago, both for the people of Cook County and for the people of the DRC when he came over on those first few trips. Their relationship thrived as they grew together professionally and in their love for each other. In Boston they were a fearless Husband-Wife ER Attending Duo and despite missing her friends, that was one of the happiest periods of their life together, professionally and as a family. Why couldn’t he want _both_?

Maybe he didn’t realise one had been at risk.

She did everything for him. Marriage, moving across continents, regular trips to Croatia, months apart so he could continue his work and effectively raising their son single-handedly as a result.

When did he last do something for her?

”Are you joining us for the drinks reception later?” Angelique asked her.

”I’m sorry, what...drinks reception?”

”For Luka, for getting the Keynote. With the rest of the team from Kisangani.”

”Oh, well I hadn’t been invited.”


	9. Tuesday Evening

Rachel, Carter and Elizabeth joined Abby going to the drinks reception being hosted by Angelique and colleagues in a conference room upstairs that evening, Ella staying behind with Joe to watch that evening's entertainment, much to his delight.

"No thank-you," Abby said to the waiter holding flutes of sparkling wine as they entered the room. 

"Tastes like urine anyway..." Rachel laughed, pulling a face and handing her glass to Carter, leaving only Abby to frown at him, insisting with her eyes that he didn't drink any either. While fifteen years may have passed, some relationships never fade, such as the one between two addicts who at some point had been each other's support system.

No longer his unofficial sponsor and not looking to be one again, she moved the group away from where the wine was being handed out and towards where Luka was standing with a group who were assumedly other volunteers he knew from Kisangani.

"You know, you spend most of the year with them," Abby muttered as he finally noticed her and moved to join their group.

"Yes, but I'm not just here on vacation. This is a conference, I have to network."

"You know, we're all doctors too. We can all Network," she glared back at him, and for the first time in days, making him smile.

"Luka, you're here," a voice and accent, called from behind Abby. As the woman approached them she pushed immediately between Abby and Luka to kiss his cheek. While she seemed both familiar - Abby had definitely met her somewhere before - and overfamiliar - the way she just barged in there and kissed Abby's husband, her fingers tracing the length of his arm - there was something about her that just rubbed up Abby the wrong way.

"Gillian!" Carter exclaimed, moving across the group to give her a hug. "I didn't know you were here." 

"I just got here, well, just in time for our lunch in town. How come you weren't there? Everyone was there, from across the years..."

"I didn't know about it?" Carter shrugged.

"Glad I'm not the only one being left out of invitations to the _key events_ ," Abby muttered under her breath. 

"Luka, why didn't you invite Carter?" Gillian hit Luka playfully, raising her eyebrows seductively.

Luka gestured towards Abby, in an attempt to tell Gillian that his _wife_ was right next to her, although the possibility of that must've been far from Gillian's mind.

"Wait, we've met. Right after these two first came over back in 2003. John wrote that letter for you...I'm Gillian."

Abby looked at her in disbelief. "...I'm Abby."

"Right, you were dating John."

"And now I'm married to Luka."

Gillian tried to mask the surprise on her face as the penny dropped. "Of course, right. I'm just gonna be over there with Patrique and Sakina..." she told Luka, who was looking down in a desperate attempt to imply that he didn't give a damn what she did.

Shame he was so bad at acting.

* * *

"You never told me about Carter and Abby," Rachel probed Elizabeth, who was much more intent on trying to eavesdrop the whispering argument going on between Luka and Abby a few metres away.

"Gosh, so many people dated in that hospital I'd still be reeling names off that list for you now, fifteen years later." 

Carter milled around awkwardly between the two groups, not entirely sure where he belonged now - it had been entirely evident that he hadn't been welcome at their reunion lunch yesterday, but of course, the vast majority of the long-term volunteers who kept the Kisangani hospital going were Kem's friends before they were his.

In actuality, it was Luka who hadn't let on that Carter would be here, and intentionally not invited him for the reunion lunch in Mellieha, as for one, he would no doubt talk about the others he was attending the conference with - namely Abby - and two, was one of the few in the group who didn't know about the extent of the Affair that Luka had been having with Gillian over all these years.

Abby hadn't yet got the full details either, but knew enough to know she had to get out of there. She looked over to Elizabeth, whose supportive gaze she'd felt in her side the entire time she was trying to get a confession from her husband. A simple nod was enough for Elizabeth to make her excuses to leave, Rachel and Carter happily staying behind without her. 

Abby’s eyes locked with hers. “You wanna wander down to the sea? I think the kids may be there,” Elizabeth suggested as an excuse to get away, although neither Abby herself nor Elizabeth were sure how Abby would react to seeing her son right now. Elizabeth rubbed Abby's arm sympathetically as Abby nodded, and they began to take the stairs down to the lobby, Elizabeth grabbing a wine and a soda for them as they passed the bar. Onto the deck and down by the pool neither Ella nor Joe had been spotted, and as they made it to hotel's private jetty into the sea the kids were nowhere to be seen. Elizabeth safely assumed they were still watching that night's show.

They sat and dangled their feet off the side of the jetty, gentle wind sweeping over them, their ankles caressed by the water. 

“Luka and I, we’ve been...growing apart,” she found herself saying somewhat unintelligibly as her pursed lips held a cigarette, the lighter not playing ball with her tonight. "For a long time."

“You have said as much,” Elizabeth said, trying to make eye contact with Abby to ask for a cigarette, eventually just helping herself to one.

“He’s been sleeping with _...her,_ while he’s been away. Both working _and_ _playing_ away, it would seem.”

Elizabeth grimaced and nodded, sympathetically. “How do you feel about it?”

“Well, I wasn't exactly surprised. They go back almost as long as we do, they've probably been fucking more consistently than he and I ever have," she laughed, exhaling at the same time.

"Did he show any remorse? Not even for you finding out this way?"

"I just think he's been trying to compartmentalise his life to justify it. You know, she’s his _Kisangani_ girl, he has only ever with her out _there_ , except for maybe once when she visited Chicago. That was when he cheated on Sam...why I ever got back with him, when I knew this was what he was capable of _so_ long ago, I have no idea..."

"You don't want to go regretting every moment you've had together...you have Joe, and wouldn't ever have had him were it not for you two..."

"And had Joe and I stayed home while he was away _this time_ , I'd probably still not be any wiser. If he had sat me down at some point and said _hey, it's fucking hard not having sex nine months of the year, what are we gonna do about it?_ it might not have bothered me. Maybe _then_ _I_ could've got some too, for fuck's sake."

Elizabeth tried to mask her grin. It was hard not to comment on her friend's sexual frustrations at this point in time, but was more than familiar with it following their conversation earlier in the week.

"What bothers me is we left _my_ home, _my country_ , so that he could chase _his_ ambitions. And what did I get? Some pseudo-feminist pride that _I_ could finance _his_ dream. Then I find out that he’s been sleeping with _her_ all along, and now she’s here and...I don’t know. I love him, he’s Joe’s father. I just don’t know how this all fits together anymore.”

"Honey, you have literally _just_ found out that this is happening. Give yourself time to process it."

"We can't exactly _separate_ can we? Not here...not without Joe finding out."

"If you need to, you're always welcome to slip out and crash with me."

"Thanks," Abby smiled. "I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't been here..." she wrapped her arms around Elizabeth, resting her head on her shoulder. 

Elizabeth kissed her friend's forehead.

"Why don't we ask the kids if they wanna watch a movie together in our room, the four of us? I'm sure Joe won't dispute the idea. Then you and Ella can crash. We have the space..."

"What about Luka?"

"He can share with Gillian I'm sure..."


	10. Wednesday Morning

“Did you really think we were working Abby?” Luka asked her. Were it not for the fact their son had been commandeered by Elizabeth and her girls to eat with them - they’d only managed to get a table for four and one for two this morning - it would look to anyone observing like they were just like any other married couple having breakfast together.

“Well we were putting on a pretty good show for our kid, I guess I must have fallen for it too.” Abby smirked but hid the majority of her facial expression behind her hot mug of coffee. “I want us to co-parent, properly, for Joe. Which we haven't done properly at any point in his life, really. Save maybe the few years in Boston."

"Ok," Luka said, exhaling. He knew he should really argue, but he had already resigned to a lot of what Abby was saying in their many months estranged. 

"We are effectively separated already. But I'm still making some changes. He can stay in Kinshasa this year, board at school."  
  
Luka tried to interrupt her but she held up a hand to dismiss him. 

"I can afford it, that’s fine. But since he’s wanted to for a while we need to think about what we tell him, especially with school starting so soon."

"...We tell him we think he's ready to do it, since it's his last year before High School."

"Ok, well you tell him, I'll sort the payment, I'll do it today. _And_ tell him I'm not staying there, make up something about me needing to be nearer my Mom or losing my job or something. And while we're on the topic of family, I don't necessarily see why I should be spending this Christmas in Croatia. You can still take Joe and have him this year, I'll see him at Thanksgiving and Easter. So we'll definitely have to tell him the truth by then."

"Okay," Luka sighed. "How have you already thought so much about this?"

Abby didn't tell him she'd made a mental escape kit several times before. Not out of fear of what Luka could do, but out of sadness from what he didn't. Six anniversaries unacknowledged, barely a text message on her birthday. It kind of hurt her more when she did the same back, stopping sending him the home comforts he missed when he was out in the field. The few times they spent it together, they'd head up the coast to Gambia and spend it by a pool, being alone together. Now that she knew for certain that she was the only one ever really being alone, she'd never felt so lonely.

Abby finished her pancakes and arranged her knife and fork neatly on the plate. "You’ll have to find a place in Kinshasa to stay when you see him, somewhere to store both your and Joe's stuff. I’m not keeping the apartment, I haven’t wanted to be there for a long time.”

“You never said.”

“Would you have listened if I had!?” she snapped.

“It’s not like we’ve spoken about how we feel, what we want. All we talk about is Joe and work.”

“Wasn’t that part of the problem? When did you stop sharing that with me? Was that before or after you and Gillian started sleeping together again.” 

Luka at least knew when not to answer.

“Luka, I know from the outside people undoubtedly thought we had this amazing marriage, one built on trust and love, where you could be away for months at a time and we would still communicate and support each other. And at one point we _did_ have that. But it’s not been consistent, not for a long time. I’ve known not to expect it since you first left me alone.”

“You know that couldn’t be helped, Abby...my father died. And I seem to remember _your_ behaviour being at fault during that period.”

“Could you blame me!? I was a new Mom, you let me for months before Joe could even walk, not to mention when I was pregnant. And so there I was, alone, my husband in another country barely communicating with me, I‘m surprised Moretti even believed I _was_ married. And I didn’t sleep with him on and off for going on _fifteen years_ , no.”

“She and I weren’t a constant...it wasn't for that long a time. It's not like when I was there without her we were pining for each other. Hardly writing love letters.”

“If you don’t have _any_ feelings for her that’s even worse. But I’m not going to waste my energy pitying her.”

“Luka looked down and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “So if you leave Kinshasa, where are you gonna go? Back to the US?”

“I don’t know, I guess? I’ll explore my options, put some feelers out there, get in touch with some old friends. I’ll still need a half decent job since I’ll have to keep paying for both of you to carry on their way. Until we...”

“I know. But what about until then? We...tell people we’re separated?”

“You tell your friends what you want, it's not like they took your marriage seriously before. I just don’t want Joe to know yet. Not until we’re ready. And at some point I’ll have to have a conversation with him about where he wants to go to High School, Kinshasa no longer seems appropriate. Plus another four years of boarding will be pushing it.”

Luka wanted to argue that Joe was happy where he was, and Abby would have agreed that he _was,_ for _middle_ school. Lots of things were gonna change for him over the next year, now more than they had once anticipated, so Luka decided internally that having Joe nearby in Kinshasa for another year now was probably more than he would get if he didn't strike up an agreement with Abby began divorce proceedings.

“Have you told anyone?”

Abby nodded. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty certain Elizabeth would’ve worked it out anyway. Did...Angelique know about me?”

“All of the others knew about you. They didn’t know we were...still together, per se. I don’t know, people just don’t ask as many questions when life and death are so closely entwined.”

Abby stood up and tucked her chair beneath the table. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

* * *

In the hotel Gift Shop Abby found Rachel using one of the couple of PC terminals at the back. They reminded her of the days she first worked in the ER - were it not for her hair type and style of dress, Rachel could have very easily been Randi sitting beside her.

“Didn’t think you’d be as bad as us millennials, desperate to get their Internet fix,” Rachel smiled.

“I need to print something to send to Joe’s school. What are you up to? There can't be much you can’t do on a smartphone these days?”

“I’m looking at my shifts for next week once I’m back, they don’t load well on my phone. I keep telling Dustin to convert them to a PDF but does he listen…”

“Dustin...Crenshaw? He’s still there?”

“Um, yeah! I didn’t realise you knew him.”

“We crossed over for a couple of years. Is Dubenko still there too?”

“He’s Chief of Staff.”

“You are _kidding_ me. He _hated_ authority.”

“All the more reason to do it your own way?” Rachel shrugged.

Abby wondered who else would still be there. “Do you know Chuny? Sam Taggart? Gates?”

“Of course I know Chuny, known her since I was a kid! She, Tony and Sam are all still there.”

“Who’s the Chief of ER?”

“Pratt.”

Abby squinted, confused. 

“Chaz Pratt, he started the year before me.”

“Oh! Does that mean that _Chief of Surgery_ is in your reach?”

“Maybe. I don’t want it to look like I’m just copying Elizabeth in everything I do. Besides, I might be looking to move elsewhere, Chicago is great but there’s nobody keeping me there anymore.”

“That’s exactly what Elizabeth told Carter when _she_ left.”

“Honestly, I’m not copying her.”

Abby laughed. “Could you get me an email address for Chaz Pratt? And maybe Dubenko?”

“Sure. Sam and Chuny too?”

“Of course, why not…” Abby took the printed forms from the very aged and dated printer beside her and headed to the counter. “I’m gonna need to wire some money, Western Union? In US Dollars?”


	11. Wednesday Evening

“I don’t know that I’m in the mood,” Abby sighed.

“Rosario said it’s gonna be really fun,” Ella said, excitedly, dragging Abby by the hand into the dancehall. As the slack in her arm tightened and pulled Abby to Ella's side, Abby leant into her ear.

“Have you kissed her yet?” she whispered, looking over to Ella's new close friend Rosario who was mic'ing up herself and her colleagues before the session started. Abby was primarily glad to have something else to talk about, even if it were only for a minute before the others joined them from the bar for the Salsa Dance class, something she new would raise no suspicions as to Luka's absence.

Ella glared at Abby, flushing pink out of embarrassment. 

"I take that as a no?" Abby teased, then squeezing Ella's arm, apologetically. "I'm sorry," she whispered. 

Ella gave a nervous smile back before following their instructors to move their chairs to the perimeter of the room. The staff went around the room and ensured people were adequately paired up, and since Joe had decided not to come along - dancing, he assured, was _not_ his thing - Rachel paired with Carter, Elizabeth with Abby (as there were always far more women than men at these things), and the small Spanish instructor took Ella as her partner, instructing both Ella and her mother to follow the male instructor who was paired with their Hungarian colleague. 

Ella thought that the Eastern European girl may have been better placed to _lead_ than she was, with her height and bone structure. Not that she was complaining, she was far happier being paired up with Rosario than had she been palmed off with the two entertainers she had least got to know this week.

“Check out your girl, being used to demo,” Abby whispered to Elizabeth.

“She’s a natural,” Elizabeth whispered back. “So much more agile than me,” she laughed, then accidentally stepping on Abby’s foot before they even began.

“Okay?” the Romanian guy yelled, to get everyone’s attention. "Tres, dos, uno, y..."  
  


* * *

“I’m so sweaty,” Abby laughed as they left the room. “Did not expect to get so into that.”

“You were great,” Elizabeth smiled. They walked down towards the sea, Elizabeth bringing with her the rest of a bottle of wine she’d been sharing with Rachel, 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. She began undoing her bra from beneath her top, pulling it out through the armhole.

“How much have you had to drink?” Abby laughed, blinking at Elizabeth .

“Oh come on, you really think I have to be wasted to get naked!?” Elizabeth laughed. "I just need to get out of these clothes. Come on, there's no one around...Ella will be in the bar following that Spanish girl around like a lost puppy for at least another hour or so." She removed her shirt and lifted her arms, revealing her partly unshaven armpits, modest breasts, slight trail of dark hair linking her belly button to her pubic hair, which was also then revealed in an instant as she removed her panties and shorts. Abby barely had chance for a glimpse at her before she jumped into the darkening water, releasing white bubbles as she sank and arose, her spiralling hair being softened and tamed by the saltwater as she rose to the surface. “Are you getting in?”

Abby laughed and nodded, taking her clothes off as she sat on the side of the jetty, putting her legs in first, then protecting her modesty before climbing in after her.

“Don’t be shy,” Elizabeth purred, pulling Abby by the arm closer to her. “You are beautiful, you know.”

“So are you,” Abby gasped, either from the freshness of the breeze that whipped the water or the surprise she felt at her verbalizing her thoughts. Elizabeth made her gasp as she wrapped her body around Abby, who felt their breasts touch, Elizabeth’s soft pubic hair rubbing against her tummy. Abby lifted her hand to Elizabeth’s face, about to kiss her.

“Sorry, the jetty is closed,” a caretaker shouted over in a thick Maltese accent, making both their hearts jump. “If you want to go in the sea after dark you’ll have to head to the public beach.”

“Ok, thankyou,” Abby shouted back. "Should we head down to the beach?"

"I have a better idea," Elizabeth said, stroking Abby's wet hair away from her face. “Would you like to come back to my room?” she asked her.

* * *

Half dressed and wrapped in whoever’s hotel towels they had found by the side of the jetty, they ran back into the hotel via the patio outside Elizabeth’s room.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?” Abby whispered as the two of them quivered in the quiet breeze, Elizabeth fumbling around with her hotel key, which for some reason, in 2019, was _still_ a physical key.

“Ok with what?” Elizabeth said back in hushed tones, opening the door and being thankful she hadn’t left the air conditioning on when she’d last left the room. 

"What this looks like," Abby said quickly as she took it upon herself to draw the curtains, barely adjusting her vision as she turned back to face her friend when their lips met. 

"What does this look like?" Elizabeth purred, touching her lips against Abby's kissing them softly. "Two women kissing?" she ran her tongue across her teeth, seductively.

"Well, I guess this is exactly that?" Abby said, before shivering and laughing escaped through her nose.

“Well all I was going to say was, if you’re correct in telling me that you and Luka are in a relationship where extramarital sex is happening, against your will, then who am I not to give you the opportunity to address it?”

"Address it?"

"Get even."

“Oh so we’re having sex now!?”

"If you want. I mean, it didn't take much to get you...this far."

"We went from skinny dipping to kissing, that's all."

“Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Nonchalant. Have you done this before?” 

"Shut up," Abby mumbled between kisses. "Have _you_ done this before?”

“Done what exactly?” Elizabeth asked.

“Been with a woman.”

Elizabeth nodded, taking a seat on the bed. Abby sat beside her and Elizabeth took some of Abby’s hair and began to swiftly braid it out of her face. “I told you…”

“Yeah, about Carol and Doug. But what about  _ just _ a woman...”

Elizabeth nodded, seeming content with how she’d done Abby’s hair, taking a pin from her bedside table to clip the plait into place. “Nobody you would know. But the stories I could tell..." She took some hair from the other side and began to do the same.

Abby didn't know whether or not to believe her. "What, would make my hair curl? I suppose I have some catching up to do."

Elizabeth laughed; the deep, sexy tone of it starting to make Abby squirm.

"Even if I hadn't, I know what _I_ like. I can imagine we’re not so different. I can give you a good  _ seeing to _ .”

Abby exhaled loudly, not sure exactly what the British woman had meant from her choice of words, but then found herself nodding as Elizabeth unwrapped the pashmina tiedaround Abby’s waist, before leaning in and kissing her thighs, sucking one of them to the extent she could already feel the bruising. “Fuck, Elizabeth,” Abby moaned. “Slow down.”

“Sorry, I thought we’d already done the foreplay out there…”

“Is getting naked foreplay?”

“It was more than enough to stir me up.”

“You barely saw me...it was getting dark.” Feeling unfairly exposed, Abby sat onto the bed, pulling on the towel that covered Elizabeth’s thighs before pulling the woman towards her.

“I felt even more...naked once I saw you, I mean.”

“What do you mean?”

Abby’s fingertips lightly touched the hair under Elizabeth’s arm. “I don’t know if I’ve  _ ever  _ let my hair grow like this.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know, it’s...beautiful.”

“No, I mean, choosing to remove it. No shame in it.”

“I guess I only just realised I’ve done it my entire life. And for what? Him to cheat on me with a  _ Canadian. _ ”

Elizabeth snorted at the way Abby had slighted her nation's northern neighbour. “I’m sorry, that was very unladylike of me.”

“Stop it. You are the most womanly being I have ever seen,” Abby said, standing up to remove her bikini bottoms, revealing a very bare pubic area.

Abby froze as she noticed Elizabeth’s eyes fixed on her.

“Yes, I  _ wax _ .”

“You’re not kidding!” Elizabeth churckled.

“I  _ was  _ coming on vacation, you know.”

“Sorry, as I said, no shame.”

They kissed again, Abby feeling stirring between her legs as they did, pulling Elizabeth’s hand towards her.

Elizabeth smiled then bit her lip. “Listen, Abby, I’m not saying we shouldn’t do this...I just want to give you a chance to change your mind.”

“No, Elizabeth, I  _ want  _ to.,” Abby said between kisses, “...as long as you do. And you’re...not too drunk?”

“No, not at all. And of course I want to. Look at you,” she teased as her fingers stroked the bare pubic bone. “Now I have definitely  _ never _ known myself like this.”

“I guess it wouldn’t be interesting if we were exactly the same.”

“Indeed,” Elizabeth smiled, taking one last look at the woman, nay,  _ Goddess _ , that knelt before her, knees straddling Elizabeth’s thighs, her svelte body towering above her. Abby took Elizabeth’s hand and moved in ever closer to her core. 

“Wow,” Elizabeth moaned as her hand explored, her fingers softly stroking her friend's labia, feeling them gush as Abby began to let go and enjoy the attention.

Before they were too far along to interrupt, Elizabeth felt herself taking charge of the situation, as she did in most. “Are you good to go?” she asked Abby, “do we need to have the  _ talk _ ?”

“What do you mean?”

“Anything I need to be aware of?"

“Oh yeah, shit. Seeing as Luka was playing away...we had best.”

“You’re right,” Elizabeth nodded, disappearing to retrieve a condom. She also gathered the few things she thought they may need; lubricant, the few toys that she had, a couple more condoms. ”I won’t go down on you, but that’s ok, plenty of other stuff we can do. And I suppose it means that if we ever decide to do this again I’ve saved some of my repertoire.”

Abby laughed nervously as she watched Elizabeth put a condom on and lube up a toy. 

“You can trust me to use my professional judgement to know when to use KY,” Elizabeth laughed. She also handed the womanizer that Abby was already familiar with to her friend. "You...keep that to hand."

Abby ran her fingers down the dildo Elizabeth had brought to her attention. “Fuck, I’m never gonna look at surgilube the same way again.”

“Do you have a Safe word?”

“Shrimp?” Abby said, simultaneously questioning both the first word that came to her head, and her involuntary reflex to immediately share it.

“You hungry?” Elizabeth whispered, smiling as she pressed her body against Abby’s, moving Abby onto her back and lifting her legs.

“Not particularly,” she smiled back.

“Good job I’m not either,” Elizabeth winked. “Lovely. You ready honey?” 

Abby nodded. As Elizabeth leant closer to kiss her, Abby rubbed her breasts, taking in her lover through the softness of her skin, the scent of her perfume infused with sweat and saltwater.

“Fuck,” Abby moaned, exhaling deeply as Elizabeth ran her fingers over her core. “Go on, please, inside…” 

“Steady on, I don’t even know if you’re ready yet” she teased. “Hmm, you  _ are _ nice and wet,” Elizabeth purred. “Good to know I’ve still got it,” she laughed.

“Oh fuck, Elizabeth, don’t tease.” Abby took a pillow from beside her to cover her face, to control the temperature where she felt it mot rising to the surface of her skin. 

“I’m not teasing," Elizabeth took Abby's hand. " It's ok. We're all friends here."

"I know, it's just...been a long time for me." Abby exhaled deeply. 

"Come here," Elizabeth said, putting her arm around Abby's waist and spooning behind her. "We can stop."

"No, no. It's ok, I'm good." 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm just..." Abby removed the pillow that had been hiding her face and dabbed at her eyes. "I'm peri-menopausal, my marriage is over...I'm now into women, _apparently."_

"And you are _beautiful_ ," Elizabeth whispered softly into her ear. "Do you want to talk about that?"

"No, it's ok. As long as you're ok with this? Fucking a _friend_ , I mean..."

"Hmmm," Elizabeth purred. "Wasn't this my idea? I just want you to feel good. So I need you to do me a favour..." Elizabeth locked her eyes with Abby's until she received a nod. "Don't worry about me. _At all_. Be _selfish_."

"Ok," Abby laughed. "But am I allowed to touch you?"

"Oh, please do honey."


	12. Wednesday Night

**Abby  
  
**

"Abby, baby, I want you to cum for me," Elizabeth whispered in her friend's ear. 

Abby struggled to maintain herself, the sensations she felt between her legs not quite foreign, but in a different accent from when she and Luka last had sex. The same as Elizabeth's commands, different not only in tone and cadence but in dominance.

"Cum for me Abby," she directed again, Abby "cum for Mummy."

Abby tried not to be distracted by the thoughts of her own child calling her Mummy, or Mommy, or some strange hybrid between the two; the only child on earth whose accent was _British boarding school-meets Boston-meets Croatian._

She was close. She knew the pressure against her front wall could result in something she didn't want to happen, not for the first time with a friend of hers. As close as she and Elizabeth had been. and had become again this week, this was not the kind of close she ever expected from their relationship.

Unless she was just overthinking this and only needed to pee.

 _Concentrate_ , she told herself. The same thoughts she'd brought up with Elizabeth earlier on in the week, that often sex or masturbation was just _easier_ if she gave up before she came, before it got too intense, were well at the forefront of her mind. 

_Who was sex for? If not for her?_

She snapped back into the room.

 _Ok, now, Abigail, concentrate for fuck's sake._ Elizabeth was penetrating her from behind with her strap, something Abby hadn't ever really understood before, but could now see the benefits of. Elizabeth's fingers tapped gently over Abby's clit, her legs beginning to curl beneath her as the speed of the contact the soft fingertips made with her increased. 

"I'm really close," Abby just managed to say between gasps of breath.

For the first time all evening, all week, all _year,_ Abby was thinking about herself, about her pleasure, her gratification, her orgasm.

"That's it honey," Elizabeth hummed softly.

"Fuck," Abby moaned. The waves of ecstasy moving from her lower spine to her ankles, swathes of endorphins swimming her bloodstream, the glow of gratification rising to the surface of her bronze skin. "Wow," she cried.

* * *

**Elizabeth**

As Abby lay burrowed in Elizabeth’s arms, Elizabeth kissed her temple. She played with her hair, undoing the braids she has put in previously. “You ok honey?” the British doctor asked her friend.

“Mmmm,” Abby smiled, then her face as though a small mammal opening her eyes for the first time. “I’m really good.”

Elizabeth leant in to kiss her. “That was wonderful.”

“You think?” Abby asked, screwing up her face in embarrassment.

“Yes, was it not for you?”

“Yeah it was great, I just...I dunno. It’s a strange dynamic for me.”

“Sex with a friend?”

Abby nodded. “And a female friend at that.”

Elizabeth smiled and nodded, playing with Abby’s hair. “As long as you don’t regret it?”

“Oh no, of course not. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Abby.”

“Ok. Just, it was really nice to...know you, in that way..." Abby sat up and began to redress. “What does this mean?” she asked. 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

"Does it mean...I'm, like, _bisexual_ now or something?"

"I can't answer that for you. But if you want to...we can, _talk_ about it. Maybe tomorrow? Whenever you like."

Abby nodded. "I’d best get back to the room...for Joe,” she rushed to put on her dress and sandals. "I'll see you at Breakfast? Say 9.30?"

Elizabeth nodded in agreement and pulled Abby towards her by the arm to give her one last kiss on the cheek. As she closed the door behind her, she initially planned on calling it a night, and started getting ready for bed. She thought better of disposing of the condom in the bathroom bin here, instead wrapping it up in tissue for the next time she used one of the hotel's communal facilities. After putting away anything else she'd rather not be _caught with_ , by her daughters or anyone else, she started to climb into bed to get a decent' night's sleep, and probably would have done if she hadn’t heard bedsprings creaking in the next room. _Ella’s_ room. 

_What the hell!?_ Elizabeth sprang to her feet. Instead of going into the hallway and having a confrontation with her daughter where anyone in this and the next block of rooms could overhear, she exited onto the patio, where she spotted her daughter sitting on the wall between hers and the next room over “Ella!? What’s up? How long have you been here?” 

_Had she been crying?_

Ella yawned, rubbing her eyes. “Rachel had a guy in her room, so I was going to come sleep in your room, but then...you had someone in your room too. I only got here, like, ten minutes ago.”

Elizabeth felt her face flush with embarrassment and held her cold hands to her face. Thank _fuck_ Ella was out here and not waiting in the corridor, and that Abby didn't slip back out this way either.

“Mom, it’s ok, I _heard_.”

“You heard what!?”

“There was a woman, wasn’t there?”

Elizabeth nodded slowly. _What did you hear?_ she tried to ask, and as she couldn't quite get the words out Ella grabbed her arms and pulled her into a hug.

“Mom, I’m so relieved.”

“Relieved?...why?” Elizabeth stepped back, completely taken aback.

“Because...you're going to think this is ridiculous. But...I've been thinking about this for years...since I was, well, like fourteen."

"Thinking _what!?_ "

"I thought you were homophobic.”

Elizabeth tried not to laugh. “Why on Earth did you think I was homophobic?”

“That doesn’t matter now.”

“I would like to know!?”

“Can we talk about it another time? I’m tired.”

Elizabeth nodded and let Ella inside, hugging her daughter again once they were indoors, thankful that she had done a thorough job and not left any signs of what she and Abby had been up to. Ella climbed onto the bed and turned on the TV to distract from the noise coming from next door, which Elizabeth thought wise.

“You staying here with your mother tonight then?”

Ella nodded. “If that’s ok?”

“Of course it’s ok darling.”

“I hope you don’t think I was snooping on you.”

“Oh, not at all no my love.”

“I just…don’t really know how this happened, you both...at the same time.”

“Sorry, it was unfortunate.”

“You're not angry at Rachel?"

"She's a grown woman I suppose. She could have checked you had somewhere to go, mind. But I'm glad to have you back for a night, before I lose you to University in a few weeks. I'm going to miss you, you know." 

"I know Mom, I'll miss you too. But I am really glad that...you’re not homophobic. And that you’re _seeing_ people again.

“I wouldn’t say I’m _seeing_ anyone, not really,” Elizabeth said, changing into her nightgown. “But _homophobic_...why would you think that?”

“Just...whenever you used to talk about Dr Weaver...it seemed impossible for you to talk about her nicely.”

“Ella! That’s just not true…”

“And I met her, at Dr Anspaugh’s funeral...and at Neela and Ray’s wedding in Baton Rouge, and she was so _nice_ , really proud of who she was and...I just don’t understand why you didn’t like her.”

“So you assumed it’s because I don’t agree with her lifestyle? Oh Ella, honey, there are a lot more complicated things that went on between Kerry and I, when you were very young, some of it before you were born. Some of it good, some of it bad...but I didn’t exactly end up leaving Chicago with a negative view of her. Our differences boiled down to little more than the fact we were...we still are, very different people. And much of that had absolutely nothing to do with her personal life. The poor woman has been through her fair deal, as we have.”

“Well that’s why I didn’t really understand what went wrong, why you two weren’t closer, weren’t _friends_.”

“We did grow closer over time. Kind of.”

“Would friends really be so...distant? For so long we were only three states away and you never made an effort.”

“Miami, dear, is a lot further than if she were merely in Jacksonville.”

“Did something happen?”

Elizabeth sat on the end of the bed, shrugging. “Before your father died, she tried to help...I didn’t want to hear it. And _after_ he passed away, whatever Kerry did to try and help or intervene just felt...wrong to me, on a professional, moral level.”

“But did you understand where she was coming from?”

“I grew to understand,” Elizabeth said, picking the polish from her nails. “And other things happened, as they do, There was nothing _she_ could’ve done to save your father, but she could've made things easier for him, those last few weeks. And I couldn't have done anything else to save Sandy...when you work in a hospital on traumas involving people you work with and their families, it's always complicated.”

“Did she blame you?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “She was in there while we operated, she understood. I still just felt so _guilty_. Losing Sandy led to a series of events that could have completely destroyed her life, losing custody of her son as well, without any legal protections... I just don’t feel like she would want me to pop back up in her life now as a reminder of all that.”

“But then surely everyone in Chicago would be a reminder of that, not just you.”

Elizabeth pondered a moment. “Hmm, you’re probably right. Regardless," Elizabeth sat cross-legged on the bed next to Ella, "I have a feeling this isn't just about my friendship with Kerry Weaver.” She raised her eyebrows at her daughter. 

“Well, you know...Kerry was the _first...lesbian_ I ever met."

Elizabeth nodded. 

"And well, I think I’m a lesbian, too.”

Elizabeth smiled.

“Don’t you have something to say to that?”

“No, not particularly,” Elizabeth blinked. “I just wanted to let you say everything you want to say.”

“That’s all for now…”

“Ok, well I’m glad you told me. And, for the record, although I think you now know this, I just want you to be happy. With whoever you choose to have in your life.”

Ella wrapped her arms around her mother, who for a moment thought back to the overly clingy four-year-old she'd had to drag off of her leg to go to Kindergarten, now eighteen and going to start her own life.

Elizabeths thoughts were interrupted by her daughter.

“So are you...a lesbian or bisexual?”

“Me? Oh I don't know what you call it. I’m just...open to things.”

“Like what?”

“Let’s just say, when your parents have a relationship like mine do, and when the love of your life dies before your child can learn to talk...it’s not exactly like I believe in storybook happily ever afters. I’m just...open to the opportunities as they present themselves.”

“Who was she? This particular opportunity...”

“Oh come on, I couldn't tell you that if I wanted to..."

Ella laughed.

"Is there a...someone, for you?” Elizabeth asked. "A girl? Rosario perhaps?"

“Maybe? I’m not sure if she is...into girls, like that.”

“Ok, well I just want you to be safe and happy. You do know how to...stay safe?”

Ella nodded.

“And if you need anything at all you know you can always talk to me.”

“I know.”

“I do know a little about…”

“...I gathered, Mom, well, I heard."

"I don't want to know _what_ you heard darling."

Ella laughed. "Mom...I know you’ve never, remarried, or brought anyone home. But you can...I won’t mind.”

“Honestly, sweetie, there hasn’t really ever been anyone serious. I love you, Ella, and I’m very proud of you. And your Dad would be proud of you too.”

“Thanks Mom..." Ella got out of bed to head to the bathroom, but doubled back before she went in. "Did Dad know? That you like women.”

“No, not really. I didn’t even know.”

“So what made you realise?”

“I’m your mother, you don’t want to know details..." Elizabeth laughed, although a slight nod from her daughter prompted her to finish the sentence. "I suppose that spending time alone...you start to get to know yourself better. What you like...what you're into... It just turns out, I’m not that picky..."


	13. Thursday Morning

Elizabeth was awoken by a loud bang and giggles coming from the next room. She scrambled around to look at her phone, which lit up reading _2:00am._ She and her daughter must have fallen asleep with the TV on as some documentary about the First World War whispered in the background, with Arabic subtitles for some reason Elizabeth was too tired to work out. She gently rolled a sleeping Ella onto her body pillow and stepped out of the patio door to see what was going on.

“Rachel…” she said, knocking on the glass, loud enough to get her attention but not so loud to wake anyone else. “Is everything ok?” 

“Everything’s fine…” a very drunken Rachel said, pulling back the curtain, her makeup smeared all over her face and curls sticking up at all angles.

“Dr. Corday, everything is fine. Go back to bed,” slurred a male voice from out of sight behind Rachel. 

Only one person here still called her _Doctor Corday._

* * *

At 8am there was a knock at Elizabeth's hotel room door. Having not completely got back to sleep since the rude interruption in the early hours, she was up and answering before Ella had even stirred.

"Morning," Abby smiled, looking fresh and ready to work out. "I know I said 9.30, but I was hoping you would join me for a run? I could do with that...talk."

Elizabeth smiled and nodded. "I can definitely do the talk, but it may have to be more of a walk than a run. Come in," she yawned. "Sorry, she's sleeping."

"She?" Abby hesitated. For a second her heart dropped, thinking did Elizabeth already have _someone else?_

Elizabeth must've seen the look on Abby's face and waved her further into the room, "it's Ella," she laughed softly. "She crashed with me last night, but that's another story," she whispered, changing into the closest thing she had that resembled workout wear. 

They set out to the Red Tower, the only route Abby had really worked out for her escape from the complex dynamics of their Family room over the last day or so. Heading uphill mostly in silence, the sky was cloudy so didn't quite provide the views she had enjoyed with Luke and Joe mere days earlier, the melancholy of which hung in the air along with the humidity.

"So, talk to me," Elizabeth said, breaking the silence. She put her hand on Abby's arm sympathetically. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling better," Abby swigged on her water bottle. "I got up early today and booked my flight back to the States."

"Wow, good for you," Elizabeth said. She sounded surprised, but encouraging. "Have you told anyone?"

Abby shook her head, sitting down on a rock now that they reached the tower. 

Elizabeth nodded, hesitant to ask her next question. "When do you leave?"

"I'll go back to Kinshasa with Joe and Luka on Sunday as planned, then I've got about a week before Joe goes back to school, and my flight's a few days later."

"Have you decided where you're going to go?"

"Rachel got me a few contacts of people from County, I'm gonna contact a few people to see if I can get some leads on jobs. My flight's into MIA, I can always get a cheap regional onto Tampa and stay with my Mom if I don't have a lead by then. And Susan replied saying I'm always welcome there if I don't mind Iowa."

Elizabeth laughed softly. "I'll be sad to see you go. You can always stay with me in London for a while if you change your mind, you know?"

Abby smiled, gratefully. "Thanks. Though it's not like I've seen that much of you, before this week it must be a good three years since we last met up."

"I know, but we got to know each other so well this week."

"About that..." Abby sat down on a large rock by the dirt path that led up to the tower, looking around to make sure they hadn't been tailed by anyone from the hotel they'd have to worry about. "I didn't want to...become so _attached_."

"I understand that. But as I said, we're friends."

"I'm single for the first time in a while, I should probably just try and move on alone." 

"I just didn't know if it would be easier for you to not be so far away from Joe, for the start at least."

"It probably would be...but I think I just need to be on my own for a while."

Elizabeth nodded. "I hope...we can still be friends?"

"Of course we can. Heck, getting closer to you is the only good thing that's come of this week."

"Tell me about it..."

"Oh of course, so what happened, after I left?"

"That was overly harsh of me...of course I've had a great time with the girls, and Joe as well. Just I discovered Rachel in a compromising position last night, with _John Carter_ of all people."

Abby nearly spat her water out. "John...Carter? My ex? With Mark's daughter?"

Elizabeth nodded and rolled her eyes.

“He was near passed out on the bed, a good dozen or so empty bottles all over the room...God knows what he does and doesn’t remember about what he did...and he’s known her since she was a child for fuck’s sake. You need to take John out of this hotel and find a meeting,” Elizabeth said to Abby between gritted teeth. "I know that would be asking a lot of you, but I don't see any influence I could have as interfering stepmother would help the situation. I'm sure there'll be a meeting somewhere, today or perhaps tomorrow, if we manage to get him to agree to go.”

"We?" Abby frowned. “And what about Luka’s Keynote?”

“I didn’t think he’d expect you to show up. Not after…”

“Joe doesn’t know anything yet. I want him to at least enjoy the vacation before I make up my mind about what we’re going to do...”

"Abby, Carter needs help."

“Elizabeth, I’m not his sponsor, I can't get involved..”

“No, but you are the only one here who knows what he’s going through and can probably make sure he gets to a meeting at the very least before he leaves." 

Abby nodded reluctantly. "Ok, I'll try find out, but I'm not making any promises."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said, kissing Abby's cheek. “I can’t convince you to stay _here_ a bit longer? I’ll be here until next Wednesday, we can formulate a bit more of a plan of some sort.”

“Elizabeth...what happened last night, it doesn’t mean…”

“I’m not asking you to run away with me, Abby. I’m asking you as a friend, put some time aside to put yourself first. That is what you want?”

Abby bit her lip, then nodded. "I'll think about it, but for now we should go get breakfast," she said, standing up.

The journey back toward the hotel was almost as quiet at the journey up, neither woman able to put their finger on what their relationship now meant. Elizabeth thought about sharing Ella's news with her, but decided she should leave that ball in Ella's court, still unaware that Abby had actually known before Ella had confided in her mother.

"You don't want to shower first?" Elizabeth asked as they approached the hotel. "...We could head back to my room, Ella will have been at the yoga class from 8.30..."

Abby shook her head.

"We don't have to..." Elizabeth voice tailed off as they approached the reception where conference attendees and tourists alike were congregating. She couldn't help but feel disappointed.

"No, it's ok, it's not about you it's... Let's just meet as we planned, 9.30? I assume the kids are coming around then too?"

Elizabeth nodded to Abby who gave a quick wave to her friend and headed up the steps in the opposite direction to Elizabeth, disappearing after a few steps. 

* * *

The two women met again as they helped themselves to their own breakfasts. “Good morning,” Rachel said, appearing beside them as if she’d intended to interrupt their non-existent conversation with something she'd like to share. She gave her stepmother a kiss on the cheek, and a mere nod hello to Abby, who didn't quite manage to greet her with a smile. “Have you seen John?”

“Not since last night…” Elizabeth muttered.

Abby also shook her head, looking sternly at the younger woman. “Tell him I’d like to speak to him when you see him,” she added as the three of them sat down. "Joe will be down to join us any minute, should we expect Ella?" Abby directed her question at Rachel, so not to imply she was aware of anything that had occurred the previous night.

"She'll probably eat with Rosario if they come straight from Yoga," Rachel shrugged.

Abby heaved a sigh of relief when Joe did eventually join them, sitting beside his Mom, no wiser of any of the circumstances that made their usual jovial start to the day so awkward this overcast Thursday morning. "Dad wants to go into town to look at the Bomb Shelters," Joe mentioned, and Abby opened the invite to the rest of the table, not yet having made up her own mind if she would join them. She excused herself from the table and headed onto the small dining terrace, which was scarcely populated as today's weather made it more unpleasant than anything to sit out. As she lit up she did notice the group leaving the gymnasium a couple of storeys down, rolled mats under their arms which a tall, blonde Ella stayed behind to put away, standing ever close to the small olive-skinned Spanish instructor. 

As the two figured headed up the stone steps, Abby tried to wave to get Ella's attention in an attempt to invite her and her friend along on their excursion, figuring if she were going to join them, the more the merrier.

Ella's eye met Abby's and she nodded to acknowledge her, not wanting to be rude and ignore her Mom's friend, but soon turned to the attention of her own friend, whose hand touched her cheek as they stood on the terrace below, looking over to the Church on the Hill that marked the town across the bay. The shorter girl stood on her tiptoes, struggling in her tennis shoes to meet Ella's height as their lips touched. 


	14. Thursday Afternoon

**Ella**

For the first time all week, Ella decided she has spent more than plenty of time doing exercise classes and wanted to take some time to chill out, so after lunch with most of the group she grabbed her towel and headed to the main pool.

"I didn't think I'd catch you here at all this week," a familiar voice said from beneath a parasol, two or three loungers away.

"Abby! I didn't see you there. Can I join you?"

She nodded, putting her cigarette into her mouth and turning her body away from the teenager, so not to exhale smoke in her direction. Not that Ella really minded so much.

As she put her towel on the lounger next to Abby’s she spotted her empty carton of fries and a few empty plastic cocktail glasses, novelty straws intact.

"Virgin," she muttered, as she noticed Ella’s line of sight. "My cocktails I mean," she laughed.

"Don't worry, I still am too..."

Abby cackled, exhaling on her cigarette again. "Ella, don't feel like you have to tell me _anything_. Not to say I didn't notice you and Rosario getting close this morning..."

"Yeah, I thought you had," Ella blushed, her pale complexion now rosy as you would expect for someone as fair as her having spent a week in the Mediterranean sun. 

"You two decided to spend some time apart?" she joked, stubbing out her cigarette and taking another sip of her cocktail. 

"No...she's just teaching Water Aerobics in the kiddie pool, but in this breeze, with the pool in the shade and the water barely coming past my thighs, I just thought I'd be too cold."

"It would be nice to properly meet her sometime. Providing you two are not just a vacation fling?"

"Oh, I don't know. She's going to be here all year, so I wouldn't know if this feels the same for her."

"Maybe you should ask her?"

Ella nodded, hesitating.

Abby turned her attention back to her book.

"You were right, by the way. About my Mom."

"I thought you must have told her," Abby put her book down. "She and I went for a walk this morning, but she didn't say much...she was much more stressed out about your sister."

"Oh I know. I should've seen that coming really, Carter is like, my Dad's age, right?"

"Not quite, but a lot closer to your Dad's age than to Rachel's," Abby nodded. "Has he arisen yet?"

"No, he didn't show at lunch. But neither did you so...no biggie," the teen shrugged. "I see you're making the most of the nutritious offering of the pool bar."

"I just needed to get away for a little while," she sighed, lighting up another cigarette. "And did not want to get dragged up that thing this afternoon," she signalled with her hand towards the giant hill across the bay.

"Yeah, I didn't fancy it either," Ella said, and picked her feet up onto the end of the lounger, planning to lie in the sun for fifteen minutes or so before taking a dip in the pool, although it must've been nearer to an hour when Abby awoke her.

"Sorry, I saw your feet might be burning. Let me help you with your lotion," she fussed. "Since _your_ Mom isn't here right now the Mom in me had to wake you for sunscreen, eighteen or not eighteen."

Ella smiled back at her, glad to have grown closer to her Mom's friend this week, even if her other close relationship didn't pan out long-term.

Rachel and Joe returned from the town shortly afterwards at about four, Joe making sure they all knew he was back by cannon-balling into the pool right by their sunbeds.

"Hey, Josip, where's your father?" Abby called to him.

"He and Ella's Mom are looking for Dr. Carter," he replied.

Rachel sat at the end of her step-sister's sunbed, looking somewhere between concerned and stressed out. "Apparently he went into Mellieha this morning, no sign of him on the walk up or down, but we saw he had left a donation and written in the guestbook at the bomb shelters...but still no sign of him."

* * *

**Elizabeth**

"A thousand euros, what kind of ignorant yank leaves a donation of a thousand euros," Elizabeth sighed as she and Luka continued to ascend beyond the main square of Mellieha town and onward. "No wonder they wanted his name."

"It's Carter, what else would you expect."

Since the kids had headed back to the hotel, Elizabeth could tell Luka had been itching to sit and grab a drink, so she eventually relented. It _did_ make sense to look for a missing alcoholic in bars and restaurants which, despite the heat of the late afternoon, all had their terraces open for locals and tourists alike. By four-thirty they had started an inadvertent bar crawl around the town looking for him.

As Luka ordered a _Cisk,_ his pronunciation of the local beer brand was mistaken for Maltese, the barman responding in Maltese to Luka's confusion.

"Sorry, mate, I'm Croatian."

Elizabeth struggled not to laugh too loudly at what would undeniably all be marked down as a hilarious anecdote to tell when we were to get back to the others, providing Carter were found safe and well. Until that moment, they both attempted to enjoy a can of the cold lager on the shaded terrace, although it did feel rather like Elizabeth was betraying Abby by spending this time with her husband. _Ah well, I’m not_ _fucking him_ , she thought to herself.

"What has Abby told you?" Luka asked after a few minutes of silence, as though he had read her mind.

"I think you should speak to her about that," she replied curtly.

"I know she was with you, last night..."

Elizabeth frowned. What he knew, exactly, she wasn't sure; there was little that could have been evidenced from the hour or two Abby spent with her between leaving the Salsa class and her returning to her son. "I'd had rather a lot to drink, needed someone to keep me in check."

"You do bring out the youth in her," he sighed, to which Elizabeth averted her eyes, praying her friend's husband hadn't worked out about their tryst. "I should've asked you how you do it years ago, you've always had that...gift."

She changed her laugh to one of ridicule. "Would that have stopped you going after a younger model?" she raised her eyebrows at him.

"So she did...tell you?"

Elizabeth nodded. "She didn't have to, nearly everyone in that room knew what was going on. I'm not here to lecture you, it's not my place, but you have made your bed now."

Luka tutted, instead changing the conversation back to Carter. It was brought up that Luka did somewhat _owe him one_ , after Carter did travel out to Kisangani when Luka had been presumed dead, so after finishing their beers we went our separate ways and he continued on his quest for Carter.

Sharing personal phone numbers in case either of them bumped into their illusive friend, Luka again headed uphill into town, where he and his project team were having one last meal together before the keynote the following day. Luke noted that Carter _had_ now been invited to dine with them, so he may show up. Elizabeth took the path downhill and went to the Tourist Information Office, primarily to enquire if it was worth putting on a Police Report for someone who hadn't yet been missing twenty-four hours, and was informed she could call from the hotel reception the following morning if he still hadn't shown up.

Heading back down the hill towards the hotel, alone again for what felt the first time all week, it was strange for Elizabeth to think this had been her norm for so long. The last few times she had travelled, since Ella had been old and responsible enough to stay home, Elizabeth had done so alone, as she would her next few trips, including returning to Durham, North Carolina where Ella had grown up before they moved back to the UK.

Right now, Dr. Corday was more keen to enjoy the company of her family, her friends, before she was back in London, soon to be alone as her only child flew the nest.


	15. Thursday Evening

“I spoke to the front desk, they found a meeting at the church in Mosta tomorrow afternoon,” Abby said, sitting down between Elizabeth and an empty seat she was keeping for Joe in the lounge. Thursday evening was a quiet one; they were merely planning on playing cards and maybe making an appearance at the cabaret singer’s show. Tomorrow was the keynote so she’d been tasked with keeping Joe out of their room so Luka could finish his last few revisions.

He’d returned from town unsuccessfully; without Carter in tow. 

“I can call the Police first thing if he’s still not back...although have we even tried his room?” Elizabeth asked. “I wouldn’t know which it is. We could ask the front desk.”

“You should ask your stepdaughter first,” Abby elbowed Elizabeth and nudged her in the direction of the automatic glass doors, through which Rachel had just appeared to pick up fresh towels at the desk.

“Rachel,” Elizabeth stood up and moved over in her direction, “where have you been? We missed you at dinner.”

Abby greeted her son and ask him to save their seats as she joined Elizabeth, more to make sure she didn’t start an argument in the middle of the hall - apparently there had been plenty during their afternoon in town.

“Oh, I just went to the beach.”

“Alone?” Elizabeth asked her.

Rachel nodded. “Still no sign of Carter?”

“No,” Elizabeth sniffed. “But if he isn’t back by breakfast we will be reporting him missing.”

Abby smiled at Rachel more sympathetically than her step-mother. “We were saying he may have shown up back at his room without us realising, but we weren’t sure which room was his. I was going to ask at the desk, but I figured we should ask you first?” 

Abby also thought to herself that she didn’t want the hotel to know any more of her business than they already did; the sociable and young staff had all been aware of her and Luka’s argument at the drinks reception, and gossip buzzed between them to the extent that Ella was now asking Elizabeth what had happened because  _ Rosario  _ had asked her. As if your husband being the keynote speaker made you some kind of C list celebrity around here.

Together the two of them stalked a reluctant Rachel up to a part of the hotel Abby was yet to visit; it was a mirror image of the wing where Rachel, Elizabeth and Ella were staying but with a much less glamorous view from the corridor out onto the hotel’s backyard full of trucks and dumpsters. 

“The view from his room isn’t quite so bad,” Rachel laughed awkwardly, as if breaking the silence was more sensible than openly admitted she’d been in Carter’s room before the events of the previous night.

“John?” Rachel said, tapping lightly at his door. 

“Carter, Luka said you didn’t show for your dinner plans, and seeing as you haven’t eaten with Rachel or the rest of us either, I recommend you let us know if you’re not wasting away on the floor of your bathroom,” Abby said, trying to sound assertive yet not as stern as Elizabeth undoubtedly would. “If you’re not here, that’s fine, Elizabeth will notify the local police in the morning.”

They hung around his door for another couple of minutes before giving it up for a loss and heading back to the lounge, where Ella, Rosario and Joe were waiting for them with  _ Uno _ cards.

“Mom, this is Rosario,” Ella said, standing up as they approached them.

Rosario stepped forward to give a characteristically european greeting of a kiss on each cheek to Elizabeth, allowing Abby to whisper in Ella’s ear before she then moved to kiss Rachel and then Abby herself as Ella introduced them in turn.

“You’re not working tonight?” Abby asked Rosario, surprised to see she was enjoying a cocktail with Ella and not manning a sound system or leading terrible groups of dancers.

“No, I have a free evening. Free All day Monday, and Thursday Evening.”

“That’s not so bad,” Elizabeth smiled. 

They made efforts to get to know her that bit better as they played the card game, even Rachel starting to come out of her shell a bit despite a frosty reception from her stepmother. Abby sat between Ella and Joe, hoping her reminder to Ella that neither she nor Rosario should say a word about she and Luka in front of Joe, but ultimately in hadn’t mattered, as they decided to slope off to check out the cabaret singer before retiring to bed for an early-ish night. 

Joe happily sat and sipped his soda while the singer performed some classics, including a few Disney numbers that his Mom caught him mouthing along to, making her smile. 

“So, you’re cool with the whole boarding school thing?” she asked him as they got up and headed to the room. “Sorry the decision was so last minute.”

He nodded. “Dad said you have to go back to the US for work. What happened?”

Abby sighed, searching for the nearest thing to the truth that she could tell him. “There are redundancies, and well, we always wanted you to have options for High School, let you settle somewhere for a few years and be a normal teenager for a while. So I’m just going to head out a bit sooner than we originally planned, and put down some roots for us.” 

He didn’t need to know that by  _ roots  _ she meant merely Mother and Son. 

“You’ll be so far away, though,” Joe sighed.

“I know. But with you and your Dad away all the time it’s not like I saw much of you during the school year anyway. And we can arrange for me to visit you for Thanksgiving and then Christmas in Croatia, like we planned.”

As they arrived in their room, Luka working at the desk, they got ready for bed in near silence, as they had every other night he’d been in the same position. “Keynote’s at 10,” he mumbled, and Joe obediently set his alarm so they could be up for breakfast with plenty of time to spare.


	16. Friday Morning

The empty seats in the conference room began to fill shortly before Ella, Joe and Rachel appeared from their later stay at breakfast. Carter sloped into the seminar room mere minutes before Luka stood up to speak.

A sigh of relief swept across the group as they saw him. Abby frowned at him from across the room, locking eyes with him and mouthing _‘we need to talk_ ,’ from their seats near the front. All for appearances of course.

He squinted, struggling to understand. 

Shortly after being introduced by the vice-president of the NGO, Luka took to the podium, introduced the first of a countless number of slides, and began the speech.

“You did _not_ tell me this was going to be entirely in _French_ ,” Elizabeth whispered in Abby’s ear, between clenched teeth.

“Honestly, I didn’t even fucking _know_.”

***

The keynote was followed by networking over _coffee_ , much to Abby’s reassurance. She took a cup and headed in the direction of her ex, whose head and shoulders stood above Rachel, Ella and whoever else was milling around him as he headed in the direction of the door.

“Would you believe we were looking for you all over town,” Elizabeth frowned at him as he opened the door in an attempt to make an exit, Abby thrusting the coffee towards him. “Mister 1000€ donation…”

“I won’t apologise for being charitable, Dr. Corday.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, distancing herself from him before her rage took over. “You honestly don’t care that your friend and colleague gave up a day of this conference to look for _you_. I should’ve listened to what Mark and Peter both said you were like as an intern, you seem to be regressing…”

“Elizabeth, I’m sorry you missed a day of the conference.”

“Oh, it’s not _me_ I’m referring to, it’s Mr. Keynote-Kovač you should be apologising to. Good job he had a handle on it before you did your disappearing act..” _or so it seemed_ , Elizabeth thought to herself. She could barely have come away with three points Luka had made about the development of Ebola treatment in the field but it appeared that Luka at the very least knew what he was talking about.

“There’s an AA Meeting this afternoon,” Abby said sternly, shifting the topic of conversation away from her husband, not that either he nor her ex standing before her were flavour of the month right now. “I’ll take you.” 

“I don’t need you to _take me_ , Abby.”

“Well either way, I’m going and you’re coming with me.”

“Going where?” Rachel chipped in, which Abby struggled not to respond to with a stern word herself.

“You’ve been missing over 24 hours, John. The only reason the Police weren’t notified is because the hotel sent someone to check your room before I did.”

“Look, I’m sorry, ok? I came to this conference expecting to spend it alone, and I figured it was best I spent a day doing just that.”

There was a slight bang as the conference door slammed behind Rachel, and Ella shortly thereafter, fleeing after her.

“And what about that poor girl?” 

* * *

“Be glad you didn’t have girls,” Elizabeth to Abby as they went to find the two younger girls. They’d stopped outside their room, Elizabeth tutting at the patio door that had been left ajar.

“Come on, Ella is an absolute delight,” Abby smiled. “She’s so thoughtful of others, witty, intelligent…”

“Oh I know she is. I don’t want to say that’s because she’s _mine_ , but, you know,” Elizabeth chuckled. “Sometimes it does feel rather like Rachel hasn’t changed at all in the last fifteen years.”

“Should I be looking for narcotics?” Abby said dryly, fluffing up a pillow.

The fact that Elizabeth was able to laugh at such a comment said in itself how much had changed in her and Ella’s lives. The life where she and Mark were in a trauma room with their newborn having overdosed on her step-sister’s ecstasy was a mere memory to her, as though she’d once starred in a hollywood-produced medical drama.

"I'm sorry we haven't really spoken about...the other night," Elizabeth said, sitting down on the bed.

"I didn't think there was anything to say," Abby laughed.

"Well, I'm not saying I'm a stranger to a one-off...but a one-off with such a close friend I am."

"I'm new to a lot of it, Elizabeth. But honestly, it was great. Unexpected, sure, but I had a great time."

"Would you want to...again? Before you leave?"

"I don't know, I...I thought the best way to keep things strictly platonic was to not fall into repeat occurrences."

"I wouldn't really use the word _platonic_ to describe it..." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, suggestively. "But it's not like it would ruin anything if we did it once more...we'll be back on different continents again in no time."

"We'll see," Abby smiled. She did feel _something_ when talking to her friend about sleeping together, which was still probably the most surprising outcome of the week for Abby, in spite of everything else. Seeing as she might be alone for some time once back in the states, it would be foolish to turn her nose up at the offer. Besides, maybe there was _something more_ to it. "When did _you_ work out you were into women?" 

"A few years ago, a friend of mine and I, we got closer. Something might have been able to come of it, something...serious, but neither of us were really wanting to settle down. But I'm now open to that possibility, if I meet someone. I could be that old woman who lives in a retirement cottage with another woman that everyone assumes is her sister. There are worse ways to live out the last few years..."

Abby put her arm around her. "If we're both single when you retire, give me a call," she laughed. 

The two of them cracked up at the idea when Ella and Rachel pushed through the patio door.

"You left your door open," Elizabeth frowned. "Where did you run off to?"

"Just for a walk..."

"You ok?" Abby asked, standing up. "I know dating an addict can be hard..."

"We're not _dating_..." Rachel said, "We've been in touch for a while, writing to each other since we both volunteered in Darfur...I didn't really expect anything _more_ to happen. And now it has I feel like such an idiot."

"I've been there," Abby laughed. "Don't be too hard on yourself."

"He's _old,_ " Ella laughed. 

"Less than twenty years older than your sister," Elizabeth pointed out. "Had he not known Rachel since she was a child I might have been on board with the idea..."

"Stop it," Rachel laughed. 

"You've got plenty of time," Elizabeth reminded her. "Your father was just older than you are now when he and I met."


	17. Friday, Midday

Instead of eating in the regular dining room, the attendees of the keynote had been invited to a three-course lunch. Doctors Carter and Corday had been seated together alphabetically, the Greenes not too far away, a few places away from the Kovac and Lockharts.

Abby politely spoke to the two strangers seated with her friends and asked if they would mind switching seats, and they obliged, although instead of following her, Joe decided to do the same and sit with the Greene girls, leaving a spot open at their table.

“You’re not going to congratulate your husband on his keynote?” Luka said, pulling up a chair at lunch between Elizabeth and Carter.

 _Of all conversations to strike up right now_ , Abby thought to herself, sighing internally. “It was great Luka, really great.” The thing that made her feel most terrible was that she truthfully did think it was, the forty-percent or so that she understood, but nothing about how he was speaking to her, or how she couldn’t help but reply, made it seem like a genuine comment.

“Oh really, which part?” he asked, with a mouthful of fettuccine and a sneaky grin as though he was trying to catch her out.

She remained silent out of choice.

“Well, if Abby’s French is better than mine that would mean she understood more than zero. That’s something, surely?”

“It wouldn’t take much to be better than mine either,” Carter muttered. “And mine _really_ should be better.”

Luka stood up to go grab a waiter to order a drink.

  
“Don’t give him any more of an opportunity to ridicule me for it,” Abby said, over-aggressively stabbing at her pasta with her fork. “The fact that I had a decent working knowledge of Spanish when we left the States of course meant nothing, it’s only languages that _he_ cares about that matter. I get it.”

“In my experience, any American with any working knowledge of any foreign language is impressive,” Elizabeth said. “Well, _white_ American I suppose.”

Luka returned with a carafe of white wine.

“Classy, Luka,” Abby muttered.

“Well last thing I heard you two were sneaking off to AA this afternoon. I didn't know that meant I can't have a drink.”

“I’m not the one sneaking around, Luka,” Abby said, trying not to get riled up or raise her voice, as Joe and the girls were mere metres away.

“We should leave you to it…” Elizabeth said, elbowing Carter and hoping he could take the hint, who also stood to his feet. “I don’t think I can stomach dessert at this time of day…”

“No, Elizabeth, you stay,” Luka sneered.

“Excuse me?” Elizabeth asked.

“Carter, sit back down,” Abby said, knowing that whatever Luka was about to do, she needed more than just Elizabeth present.

“Luka, how much have you had to drink? Before this…” Abby asked him.

He chose to ignore her question, instead asking his own. “So when your son couldn’t find you the other night, and he came back to the room early, where were you?”

“I thought he was with Ella…”

“It doesn’t matter where he was. Where were you?”

“She was with me…” Elizabeth said softly, not sure if her admission was going to help or not.

“Yes, you fucked Elizabeth? Did you not.”

Carter dropped his cutlery onto his plate a little too loudly.

“Luka...stop.”

“You don’t care that your own son saw you going into her room, half naked…”

“Luka, we’d been _swimming_.”

Luka continued to chew his food, somewhat aggressively. “So you two didn’t sleep together?”

Elizabeth looked to Abby as if to say, _well, now’s your chance…_

“Luka, can I speak to you outside please?” Abby said, calmer than she believed she could have managed. 

Elizabeth followed her but Abby shook her head, squeezing her hand and leaving her behind the double doors, Luka following her into the small vestibule between the conference room, the toilets and the pool area. 

“Ok, fine, so I slept with Elizabeth. So what if I did!? Why do you even care!?” Abby held up her arms in indignant resignation.

“Because you are still my wife, Abby. Those vows clearly meant nothing to you…”

“Right, wasn’t there a _I will never fuck one of our female friends because I’ve had a dry spell of over a year_ part of our vows _…”_

“That’s bullshit, Abby, you know it. We had tons of sex.”

“Really? Ok, when did we _last_ have sex? What year? No, even better, _when_ did you last make me cum? What _decade_?” 

“You’re telling me we can have _that_ kind of sex with Joe in the same room?”

“Are you actually implying that you would have wanted to? We didn’t have a chance before this vacation? And stop pretending this is about your concern for our son.”

“It _is._ And I care about being ridiculed in front of my colleagues and upstaged at what was supposed to be _my conference._ ”

“Well that would have been perfect for _your conference_ , wouldn’t it? Walking out of your keynote speech with a woman on each arm, staff and guests alike gossiping, guessing which one is the wife and which one the mistress. You don’t seem to care if your son hears about that.”

“It is not the same thing, Abby! You know there’s more to it than that.”

“What, your casual homophobia?”

“Is that what you were thinking when you were fucking _her_?”

“Technically, Luka, _she_ was fucking _me_ . And honestly, it was better than anything _we_ have done for _years_.”

As she attempted to walk away he pulled her back by her arm.

“You didn’t expect things to dry up over the years!?”

“No, I didn’t. I’d been working at that damn hospital for years now so that you can volunteer out there, to have you home for three months, four if I’m lucky, looking forward to spending time with you... There I was, looking after our son, effectively raising him alone, and not for the first time in our lives, may I add, and I feel like such a fucking idiot for thinking you cared. For thinking that you would be with us if you could, if they didn't absolutely _need_ you there. But you’ve been choosing her over me and them over us for _years_ . The very least I expected was for you to remain loyal to me, to our marriage. _I_ loved _you_ , Luka. Does that mean _nothing_ to you?”

As Abby broke down in tears, Elizabeth took that as her cue to intervene. She pushed through the doors from the lunch, revealing that, thankfully, there was enough noise from the bustle of the guests and the background music for nobody to have heard their argument. 

“I’ve got you, you’re ok honey,” Elizabeth soothed, wrapping her arms around her friend. “Let’s get you out of here…” she whispered, moving her towards the outside. She looked back to Luka and tried her hardest not to sneer at him. 

As Luka angrily pushed through the doors back into the dinner he found Carter at the table, finishing his dessert with chocolate crumbs around his mouth.

“You don’t want to miss out, this fondant is amazing,” he said, smiling at Luka until he saw the fury on his face. 

“John...you need to get going, if you’re going to make that meeting,” Rachel said, suddenly appearing and awkwardly hovering beside him.

“Right, yes...where is Abby?” he asked Luka awkwardly. 

"Try Elizabeth’s room,” he grunted in reply. "Knock first."


	18. Friday Afternoon

Abby and Carter sat on the public bus that they had taken from the stop around the bay from the hotel in the direction of Il-Mosta.

“It turns out this place is quite famous,” John said.

Abby frowned at him “the Mormon church?” 

“No, not the church where the meeting is, _that’s_ just...a Mormon church.”

“Figured.”

“But the church at the Rotunda. I went yesterday, after I...disappeared. A bomb fell into the dome when the island was bombed during World War II, and somehow miraculously didn’t explode. You can still see the crack in the ceiling.”

Abby tried to look interested, but then soon looked out of the bus window to the dusty terrain of the less-touristy parts of the island.

“Is this meeting gonna be...Mormon?” John asked her.

“I doubt it. It was the only meeting in English I could find…”

“Mormons outside of America, who would’ve thought it,” Carter laughed to himself.

“American Doctors here for a conference relapsing and needing to find an AA meeting, who would’ve thought it,” Abby muttered. “But no, I don’t think the meeting is run by the church, I think they probably just use the space.”

They sat in silence a while longer, Carter checking the announced bus stops against the route on his phone as they continued down the bumpy roads.

“So what did you and Elizabeth get up to? I didn’t know you were... _lesbians,_ ” he said, half laughing. “You definitely didn’t _use to be_.”

“You do realise English is pretty widely understood here?” Abby said sternly under her breath. “I’d rather this entire bus of school kids weren’t aware of the ins and outs of my personal life.”

“School kids? It’s 2pm!”

Abby shrugged, but as John looked up, he did note that the vast majority of the bus was filled with middle and high-school aged teenagers. 

“Ok, but what happened?”

“We slept together. You already knew that.”

“No I didn’t.”

“You didn’t hear Luka at lunch?”

“I assumed he was just being jealous. We’re quite good at that.”

“ _We_?”

“Men.”

* * *

Abby glared at Carter throughout the entire meeting, waiting for him to share.

He didn't.

"You didn't either," he said as they left.

"I haven't fallen off the wagon," she pouted. She hadn't even needed to tell him why she was still glaring at him, he already knew. "We didn't even know you were coming to this conference, what would you have done if you were here alone? Without Luka and Elizabeth willing to trawl the island looking for you, without me to drag you to a meeting. Would you have just carried on getting drunk and sleeping with Rachel? Which is still not ok, by the way..."

"Abby, come on. I came to the meeting. I'm not going to have another drink, and I leave on Sunday. 36 hours and I'm out of here. I'm fine."

"And Rachel...?"

"She's fine. She's an adult."

"You've known her since she was very much a child, John."

"Who else was I supposed to score with? You? Elizabeth?"

"At the very least if you'd got with Gillian in the first place maybe my husband wouldn't have..."

"Yeah, well I _had_ someone else there, didn't I."

They sat on the stone plinth playing the part of a bench at the bus stop.

Abby bit her lip. "Carter...I'm sorry. Of course. I didn't want to pry..."

"She was my everything, Abby. I really thought we would end up one of those old married couples, half a dozen kids..."

"Half a dozen?"

"Well, you know."

"I can't say I do, nor do I know anyone personally who'd be willing to go through that six times."

"Stick a couple of twins in there, might only have been four or five times."

"You have no idea how lucky you are not to have a uterus, John."

They both laughed. 

"For the record, I don't think Rachel is going to be sad if things don't pan out between the two of you."

"She kept asking me to move back to Chicago. In her letters..."

"Where else would ever feel like home?"


	19. Friday Evening

Friday being the official end of the conference also meant there was another flashy dinner that evening. For this one, everybody went all out dressing up, even little Joe, who had been forced to bring the suit and bow tie he wore maybe once a year if they went to a wedding, which miraculously still fit

“Hey, Ella,” he yelled, tapping on the patio door to her hotel room. “Rachel said you’re in here…” He sighed impatiently.

“Joe, are you ok?” Elizabeth said, sliding through her the door to her patio and locking the door to her own room. 

“Yeah, I was just going to see if Ella wanted to head to the dinner together. Rachel is already up there.”

“Oh, that’s lovely of you. _Ella_ , Joe is here waiting for you,” Elizabeth yelled and banged on the door rather more aggressively. 

“One minute,” she called back. 

There were definitely voices inside the room, girls' voices.

"Hey Joe," Ella smiled at him as she emerged from the room, looking absolutely stunning (or at least Joe thought) in a long pale pink dress, her hair swept into a low ponytail with wavy strands left loose. Elizabeth recognised her attempts to straighten her hair which were more than familiar, knowing all too well the humidity here wouldn't allow it to hold longer than a half hour or so.

Joe nodded, smiling right back at her.

"Sorry, I'm ready to go now," a second voice came from the room, following Ella out. 

"Rosario, are you joining the dinner?" Elizabeth asked her.

"No, I have to work. But I'll be at the bar later, you guys should come down and join us later, to dance."

Elizabeth nodded, thinking she didn't need another excuse to let her hair down after this week.

Rosario waved bye to her and Joe and took Ella by the hand and walked down the two or three steps that connected their patio areas to the pool. 

"Hasta pronto," Rosario whispered, kissing Ella's lips softly, so not to get lip gloss all over her face.

"Bye," Ella whispered back as they pulled away.

After Rosario disappeared down the side of the pool, Elizabeth walked a few steps to catch up with her daughter, linking her arm around her daughter's elbow. They walked a few steps before realising nobody was following them.

"Joe, are you coming?" Ella asked, turning to look for him.

He looked heartbroken.

* * *

The largest room in the hotel had bee set up ballroom-style for the closing dinner; seating plans on entry, seat covers, far more knives and forks than Abby knew what to use them for; it was far fancier than their wedding had been. As she filled her sparkling water glass, still the first to be seated at their table, Abby felt a soft touch on her shoulder.

She looked up and her eyes met Elizabeth's, seeing her for the first time all week with a full face of make-up, hair in perfect golden curls, black dress accentuating her cleavage as well as her other curves.

"Well _hello,_ " Abby laughed, backing away in her chair to keep her face an appropriate distance from her friend's breasts.

"So you may need to have a word with Josip..."

"Oh dear, what has happened? Does he know about me and Luka!?!"

"Oh no, he seems a bit upset though, bless him. He just found out about Ella and Rosario...poor kid."

"Shit, did he really think he had a shot?"

"That's a conversation for you to have with him, honey," Elizabeth laughed.

"Right," Abby stood up and followed Elizabeth over to where she'd left Joe by the entrance. "Hey, Joe sweetie, we're over here," she said, taking his hand and walking him in direction of their table. Heck, aside from him and Luka there were no other people she even knew on their table. At the very least, since she'd said 'no thankyou' to being offered wine from almost every waiter in the room while they'd seen her sitting alone waiting for the others to arrive, it was enough that nobody should be trying to give her any more and inviting _that_ conversation. Instead she went straight into _Mom_ mode.

"Tell me, what's up?"

"Nothing Mom."

"I know that's not true, so please, just tell me, why are you upset?"

"I'm not upset Mom."

"Ok, fine," Abby sighed, turning back towards the centre of the table and pouring water for her son. "You know, it might not seem like it, but there's plenty of time for you to find girls, or _guys_ , that you like. Ones that are closer to your age."

"You and Dad have an age gap."

"Yes...and we were _adults_. Trust me, honey, I'm not trying to patronize you or make you feel bad, I just want you to try and put this in perspective. Not every person you like will like you back, that's just...life. And look at it this way, if Ella decides she only likes and wants to date _girls_ , that's even less for you to be upset about."

"Who only likes and wants to date girls?" Luka asked, taking the seat next to Joe. 

"I don't think that's for us to say," Abby said, taking a sip from her water. 

"Just a girl I thought I liked," Joe shrugged, before standing up and heading to the bathroom.

Abby and Luka looked at each other awkwardly across the vacant seat as their table began to fill; thankfully, most of them seemed to already know Luka (and probably already knew that the situation between the couple was delicate, to say the least), so all they were expected to do to interact was a polite nod here and there.

"Look, it wasn't me, so please don't bring that up."

"Well, I guessed you weren't talking about yourself in the third person."

"Luka, please, let's just get through these next few days. For Joe."

He nodded, just as Joe returned to the table.

Abby put her arms around her son, kissing his cheek softly. "I love you, no matter what, yeah?"

"I know Mom."

"Good. Now look, soup's here."  
  
Three courses later, (very 80s courses at that, Abby thought she was back at her High School Prom at times), and the president of the NGO gave some closing remarks where he thanked Luka, meaning all eyes were on them for ten seconds or so. Abby smiled while scouring the room for somewhere to look that wouldn't make her feel like jumping in the sea, and her eyes briefly met Gillians'.

_Shit._

It was too late; they'd not only seen each other, but looked directly at each other.

"I'm gonna go smoke," Abby whispered to Joe, kissing his temple once the speeches were over and they were back to waiting for dessert. It was already gone 9pm and the idea of eating anything else made her want to puke. 

At the bar she ordered a coffee. "I'm gonna be outside," she told them, and the waiter agreed to bring it out to her. She noticed Elizabeth, on a table with Ella, Rachel and Carter not far from the door, laughing at something or other. "Hey, um, do you have a pen?" she asked the bartender, who passed her a blue marker. She scribbled a message on one of those ugly brown napkins and headed for the door, placing the marker on the bar. As she brushed past the table with their friends, she made eye contact with the group long enough to be polite and say hi, and to take Elizabeth's hand to give her the napkin without the others seeing.

Sensing her discretion, Elizabeth laid it on her lap and snuck a quick look while the others were pouring more wine.

_Your Room, 10pm?_ the napkin read.


	20. Friday Night

As Abby approached Elizabeth's room she found her on the patio, smoking a cigarrillo.

"Are they in?" Abby asked, signalling to the girls' room next door.

Elizabeth shook her head and passed her friend the brown tobacco-leaf wrapped roll. "They're planning on partying with the staff, from what Ella told me."

Abby nodded and sighed as she released the smoke.

"...Are you ok?"

Aby nodded. “I love my son to pieces, but honestly, don’t you ever think...why did I do this? Why did I put myself through being a mother?”

“All the time. I mean, less so now she’s eighteen,” Elizabeth smirked, raising her eyebrows. 

“It’s not even about Joe, I couldn’t have asked for a better kid. It’s just...I’m tied to Luka now, forever.” As she put out the cigarillo they headed into Elizabeth's room, Abby sitting at the foot of the bed.

“Well, there was no way for you to know how these things were going to pan out...”

Abby laughed. “Once he was making excuses to be on the other side of the country for six months at a time I should’ve taken the hint.”

“Abby, honey, come here…” Elizabeth whispered. She knelt behind her friend and began to rub her hands over her shoulders. “I for one was _incredibly_ happy you invited yourself here tonight.”

“Why though?”

“Look at it like this; sometimes, when you’re at your most lonely or vulnerable you long for a companion, be it long or short term. And having that with an old friend is just the safest way to ensure you get what you need, emotionally, I mean.”

“So were you under the impression I was coming here for a heart to heart or a _tête à tête_ , not…”

“The sex is just a _bonus,_ ” Elizabeth laughed, the way that would make her eyes glisten.

Abby took Elizabeth by the hand and pulled her towards her, sitting down on her lap.

“But we both _do_ know that...nothing can become of this,” Abby said, looking sternly into Elizabeth’s eyes.

“I know, it’s just...you’re beautiful, Abby. And last time we had such a wonderful time.”

“And it still doesn’t mean anything to you?”

“It never meant _nothing,_ honey. But the two sides don't have to be _love_ and _indifference_. There's a very _attractive_ grey area."

"Hmmmm," Abby purred, putting her head on Elizabeth's shoulder. "I suppose that means tonight it's your turn."

"I suppose it is. Not that I'm keeping score."

* * *

After drawing the curtains Elizabeth wasted no time before taking Abby to bed, lying beneath her as she kissed her neck, collarbone and chest, encaptured between her lover and the sheets. She caressed Abby’s face and admired her beauty; bronze skin, dark features, plump lips.

“Tell me what you want,” Abby whispered, before leaning down to kiss Elizabeth, soft and subtle so not to spear her lipstick. 

Elizabeth enlaced her fingers between her friend’s, squeezing her hand. “I want you to enjoy yourself. That’s my only requirement.”

Abby laughed nervously, “I’m not remotely intimidated by that.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Elizabeth smiled back. 

They kissed a little more, removing layers of clothing while remaining beneath the covers. 

“No need to be so coy,” Elizabeth whispered. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“I know.” Abby's tongue stuck out of the side of her mouth, playfully. "I like being here, under the covers, I mean. I feel close...and like our skin touching."

"Me too," Elizabeth raised her eyebrows suggestively and moved Abby's hand to her breast.

Abby took in Elizabeth's motherly curves; her chest, her hips, her _ass._

 _"I don't bite,"_ Elizabeth whispered.

Abby's mind began to wander, the way it always would at the worst times, imagining sharp-toothed monsters in _the worst_ places... 

She shuddered.

"Abby? Are you ok?" 

"Uh yeah...I um...I think I might just need a smoke, or something."

"Just tobacco?" Elizabeth asked her. She bit her lip mischievously.

"No!?" Abby yelled in surprise, climbing off Elizabeth who rolled over and began to rummage in the hotel drawer.

From somewhere beneath the Gideons bible, she pulled out a small baggie of joints. 

Abby scoffed in surprise. "And _where_ did you get those from?"

"I _may_ have confiscated them from Ella and Rosario..." she said, nonchalantly.

"There was me thinking you were a _cool Mom._ "

" _I am_. I told Ella if she wants to get high she can do it under supervision, so that's me getting high with teenagers on a Saturday night, haven't been there since 1978. But that _does_ mean I have at least _one_ joint spare...And I suppose we'd best make sure it's safe, before I let my baby try it."

"I thought you'd never ask."


	21. Saturday Morning

After wandering down to the public beach, which was strangely secluded for a Saturday night - the young people must still have been out partying, it was only slightly past 2pm - and frankly, the fewer people present, the better.

"Not your first rodeo?" Abby asked Elizabeth as she sparked up.

Elizabeth shook her head. "At our age there's little we _shouldn't_ have tried."

"Well I'm certainly ticking them off. Sex with a woman? _Check_. Getting high with said woman? _Check_."

"Getting high with my teenage daughter can be ticked off tomorrow. I'm guessing you're not bringing Joe down?"

Abby laughed. "No chance. I don't know if I _could_ ever do that, really. What you're planning with Ella, I mean. I feel it's more Luka's area of expertise."

"Really?"

"Well, not in my experience, but he's not an alcoholic so not a hypocrite."

 _"In that respect,"_ Elizabeth added.

Abby tried not to laugh at her friend's comment but struggled not to. "I am a fucking hypocrite though."

"You are...?"

"Sneaking around, keeping secrets...I know there's a reason we're not telling Joe everything up front, about the separation..."

"Well it has all happened remarkably fast," Elizabeth said. "You need to adjust to it before you can support him to do the same."

"And sleeping with you wasn't _adjusting to it_?"

"Luka has a good ten year head start on you honey, you gotta at least try to catch up."

Abby laughed and lay her head on Elizabeth's shoulder before Elizabeth passed her the joint. "This stuff seems half decent at least?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I'm kind of glad really, I'm looking forward to getting high with my daughter."

"You _are_?"

"Well, it beats my first time."

"Ooh, there's a story here, please tell..." Abby laughed.

"Ok, well...it was a cold English winter. My dad was out, must have been at the cinema in town or something, and a friend of mine was over, we figured it would be fine to smoke at the side door since my dad would use the front door... Anyway, halfway through the joint and my hit, my Dad walks through our path, and I say "Hi Daddy" with the smoke billowing out of my mouth.

Abby chuckled. "What did he say?"

"He just sniffed and said _that doesn't smell like a cigarette_... Noting his job as a surgeon I retorted "Would you rather it was?" He probably considered it for a moment, then said "No, I suppose not." and walked inside. I let my friend finish; I was done for the night."

"That's a great story. I think I'd be happy with that."

"Well what's yours?"

"I don't have one...Maggie was never in a fit state to 'discover' my bad habits. Like with cigarettes, just one day we were suddenly smoking together and that was that. I didn't really smoke marijuana that much in high school, I was usually just drinking or worrying about Maggie or that _I_ might be bipolar too much to let myself enjoy it."

" _Are you_ enjoying it?" Elizabeth asked her.

"I think so? That probably has a lot to do with the company though," Abby smiled.

"Come here," Elizabeth said, pulling Abby towards her again. "I love you, mate."

"You too," Abby smiled, feeling an itch at her nose and a prickle at her eyes. _I have no idea when anyone will next say that to me..._ she thought to herself.

"I can't believe we went so long not speaking, I thought I had left on bad terms with everyone..."

"We just assumed you didn't want to talk about the _circumstances."_

"Well, there was that," Elizabeth laughed, shaking her head. "I ended up in fucking _North Carolina_ though, I could've invited you and Susan down, or visited you guys closer to home."

"It's been such a long time since I spoke to her too," Abby nodded. "And Kerry! I have seen her twice since _she_ left Chicago."

"It's bizarre to imagine a world where I'm not actively trying to avoid Kerry Weaver," Elizabeth joked. "At least recently we've both had the excuse of being on different continents," Elizabeth smiled. "How about it? 2020? Girls Club reunion?"

"Yes! Although I'm not even sure Jing-Mei is back in the States. Are you back there at all?"

"Nothing planned as yet, but we'll make it happen." She looked into Abby's eyes and kissed her, and not realising Abby was about to exhale, she opened her mouth slightly and inhaled the fumes deeply. "Wow, a long time since I've done _that."_

"More where that came from," Abby looked at her, seductively. "Although I'm getting cold, if you want to head back?"

"My room still?"

"Of course."

* * *

  
Abby woke up in a slumberous haze, thinking back to the hours of darkness, remembering the taste of Elizabeth in her mouth as she slid her tongue over her clitoris, the soft touch of the skin on her friend's breasts, the sticky, sweet scent on her fingers as she got her friend ready, her breath against Elizabeth's neck as she took her from behind. With hindsight, she struggled not to feel overly pleased with herself; she'd most definitely given her friend a pleasurable experience, _several times over_ if she remembered correctly.

As she turned over to see her still sleeping, Abby brushed her fingers over Elizabeth's face. "Hey, I'd best get going..."

Elizabeth mumbled something before turning over.

"I'm gonna quickly shower here...see you at breakfast?"

She was no wiser of Elizabeth's response the second time, and chose to leave her a note. _Thanks for a fun night together_ she wrote, followed by a heart. _See you at breakfast_.


	22. Saturday Afternoon

For most of the group, Saturday was their last full day at the hotel - only Elizabeth planned on hanging around once the thing was done, and she was right to think she would need a break once this whole thing was over. Not that she'd been particularly busy at the conference herself; the majority of her time had been spent running around after Rachel / Carter / Abby, which in itself was a metacognitive minefield. Spending the previous night getting high (and having sex) with her friend had led nicely into a long lazy morning in her room, after taking pastries and coffee from the breakfast room (since said friend hadn't actually been around at breakfast), then heading down to the pool where she met the girls and Joe. 

"Your mother hasn't been around all morning, is she ok?" Luka asked Joe, who was engrossed in a game on his iPhone.

"I dunno," he mumbled, " _you're_ married to her."

"You haven't seen her?" Elizabeth asked, looking over her sunglasses.

Luka shook his head.

"She was supposed to meet me at breakfast but never showed up."

"She'll just be in the room," Joe sighed, handing his room key to Elizabeth, who gladly took it. 

Luka stood up, as if to follow her, making Elizabeth turn and shake her head at him. " _You_ haven't had a break all week. Conference is over, enjoy being on holiday for once!"  
  


* * *

  
There were three knocks at the door before Abby finally dragged herself out of bed to answer it.

"I thought you were avoiding me," Elizabeth said as the door opened, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"No, I...I just couldn't face today," she said, "last day before I have to be alone with my husband and child acting as if there's nothing wrong."

"So you should be making the most of it!"

Abby glared at her.

"Ok, well, I for one think that last night you did a very good job of making the most of it. And just FYI, Luka was looking for you too."

"Now he's concerned for my wellbeing? Not all those months left alone in a foreign city going home to an empty apartment..."

"We both know he's served you a raw one...I'm sure things will work out better for you. Work prospects, _relationship_ prospects. Just think...you can go _anywhere_."

"I know. What's funny is that, if nothing had changed, I'd wanna go straight back to Chicago. But it'll be getting cold for winter and I don't want to have to try insert myself back into something that's no longer there."

"I kinda felt the same when I moved home..." Elizabeth sighed. "But being near my Dad was most important for me, for us. With Ella not having her Dad around... What would you want for Joe? When he eventually goes to join you?" Elizabeth asked as she sat beside Abby on the bed, as her friend lay back on her back and covered her face with her hands. "Abby, what _do_ you want?"

"I can't remember the last time I even let myself think that way. I want...to take a step-up in my career. Move somewhere new, somewhere _warm_. Maybe date some women? I don't know. I just want Joe to know his potential. Try to feel some closeness to his American family. And my Mom is doing better now..."

"I think that's your answer."

"But _Florida_? I always thought I'd hate the south."

"North Carolina pleasantly surprised _me_ ," Elizabeth said. "Why don't you drop Kerry a line? See what she can do to help you. You fly into MIA right?"

"Right..." Abby agreed. "You know, I barely thought of her."

"I wouldn't risk telling her that..."


	23. Saturday Evening

For what felt like the first time all week, every single member of their group gathered around a table in the lounge. Ella was leaning back on her chair; chatting to the staff as Rosario handed out quiz sheets; her mother leaning over to Abby and laughing over something or other, Abby with her arms draped over Joe who sipped on his coke. Rachel was writing their assumed team name, something around _Chicago_ undoubtedly, as Carter and Luka hesitantly approached the table.

Abby nodded to her husband, aware that the following day she would be spending two flights and as many transfers getting back to Kinshasa with him, plus the downtime back in their apartment before Luka returned to the field and Joe moved into his room at school. She breathed in deeply through her nose, more effective than a bite of the tongue, as he nodded back, albeit slightly displeasingly so having again remarked Abby's closeness to her friend and former colleague.

"Rach, do you have a sec?" Carter asked her. She nodded, passing the pencil to Joe and following Carter to the other side of the bar. He ordered her a cocktail and a soda for himself, gesturing that they sit on the bar stools. "I owe you an apology," he said, as she sipped the pink-colored liquid through a curly straw. "I led you to believe that...I wanted something to happen between us."

"Well something _did,_ " she said dryly. "Or don't you remember?"

"No, of course I remember. And I shouldn't have...allowed myself to get into that state. Or you, either. That...shouldn't have happened."

Rachel sighed, putting her almost empty drink down on the bar. "I didn't know you were an addict, John. I suppose Dad and Elizabeth were preoccupied with other things when I was around back when it all began...but all these years, Darfur, all the letters...why didn't you ever say?"

"Because I was better. Well, I believed I was better. But really, I just replaced one addiction with another."

Rachel raised her eyebrows.

"Kem. It's been...almost ten years and yet still, I'm not over her. Things were never the same after we lost Joshua...I found being back in the DRC too painful, the Centre in Chicago reminded me that I _didn't_ have Josh...And then there was you, and you were wonderful. But we both know...that should never have been more than a friendship."

"I know."

"And I'm sorry that I took advantage."

"I'm sorry that I let you."

John couldn't help but smile at Rachel's demeanor as she spoke those words; almost thirty and still something about her evoked an air of teenager.  
  


* * *

  
Not having done particularly well on their General Knowledge, as Elizabeth bemoaned _you would think there would've been some more medical questions if they paid attention to their audience;_ Abby led the movement to retire to bed, one last time.

As she said her goodbyes, unlikely to spot the others at breakfast if they were to stay partying much longer, Abby hugged Elizabeth and her girls in turn. _Don't be a stranger_ , Elizabeth whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek.

"You, stay in touch," Abby said to Ella as they hugged. "I want to know _everything_ about Cambridge," she laughed.

"Same here, let me know where you end up. I can send snail mail."

"That would be nice of you," Abby smiled, cupping Ella's chin. "And say _adiós_ to that girlfriend of yours for me. I hope things...work out for you, if that's what you want."

Ella nodded, before their moment was interrupted by Joe saying goodbye to her too. 

"We should set a deadline; let's hang out when Joe turns eighteen, if not before," Luka said to John. "You'll always be welcome in Croatia."

"I'll add it to my list," he nodded, embracing Luka in a hug. Carter then turned to Abby and nodded at her. "Best of luck, Abby. I won't recite the serenity prayer to you, you must know it better than I do."

"That I do." 


	24. Sunday Morning

Abby awoke before her alarm that was set for 7.30, choosing to turn onto her side away from Luka and enjoy the twenty minutes or so of quiet before it did ring. Her hand instinctively searched between her thighs, her thumb finding that nub of flesh she'd used much more as a stress reliever than a source of pleasure in the past weeks and months. Clearing her mind, facing the door, she forgot who else was in the room beside her, slipping her fingers further down to seek the oasis that her otherwise dry - both in the short and long term - patch so longed for.

The delay in relief led her moans of pleasure into coinciding with her husband's groan of displeasure at the tinny sounding of multiple phones chiming the three of them awake.  
  


* * *

Every moment of indulgence a vacation was erased the moment the three passed through passport control. The early start dissipated any excitement once they passed through Vienna, and ultimately, arriving back into Kinshasa was the crash down to Earth that Abby didn't realise she needed.

Luka was gone by Monday morning, pretending to be disappointed that the only flight to Kisangani in the early part if the week didn't allow him to stay with his wife and son long enough to move Joe into boarding school. Abby revelled in the freedom of knowing she may never have to see him again, despite knowing their contact via lawyers and mediators would undoubtedly grow the number of words passed between them exponentially as the following weeks and months came.

The one thing they had agreed, maintaining the silence about their separation until they were all a bit more settle, or well, Joe settled at school, Abby settled back in the States, and Luka as unsettled as ever, was guarded between the two of them. Or, more realistically, between Luka, Abby, Elizabeth, and others who grew in number as Abby began to reach back out to old friends: Susan Lewis, who was _dying_ to drive down to Florida from Iowa at the next opportunity; Neela Rasgotra, who had some news of her own to share; and Kerry Weaver, whose latest email in response to Abby's acceptance to stay with her on arrival in Miami was a concise ":)".


End file.
